The Good, The Bad, The Ugly...The Mets!

Charlie Could Put A Real "Sheen" On The Mets - a/k/a "Winning!"

2011-03-08T14:21:00.004-05:00

Hey, long time, no hear, huh? Well, frankly, I've been pretty disgusted/bored/apathetic/disinterested/uninterested with the Mets over this past year (well, to be honest, since the Carlos At The Bat incident of the 2006 postseason, pretty much), but in view of recent events, what I think is the germination of a great idea has just occurred to moi, yrs truly, fellow Met fanhater. "Fanhater," since I can't quite codify, define or even begin to understand my relationship, if any, to this shithole of a team. So, "fanhater" is my new term for the whole thing. You heard it here first.

Anyway, like most of my fellow fanhaters, I'm watching the whole Wilpon/Madoff/Picard saga unfold over the past year or so. And of course, being of the longstanding belief that the Wilpons weren't the brightest bulbs in the sockets of life, I wasn't really too shocked or surprised that they were up to their ears in this shitball of a mess. Nor that the fortunes, or continuing misfortunes, of the Mets, might hang on the ultimate resolution of this very, very messy, and very, very public debacle. And that the Wilpons, being what they are (not too bright, see above), might not necessarily steer themselves into the best possible solution of this here mess.

Now, we're dealing with all that, and then..... TA DA! Enter one very wired, fucked up, yet strangely and compellingly fascinating character named Charlie Sheen. I gotta tell you, it's like divine providence or something; like the universe has collided in a very cosmically important and significant way, to produce what I think might be the ultimate solution to the Met fanhaters' problems - meet Charlie Sheen, new owner of the Mets.

I'll tell you one thing - you have to LOVE his new mantra, "Winning!" No matter what this guy does, it's all about "winning." How, no matter how obviously strung out, hung over, weirded out or fucked up he is, he always claims to be "winning!" "WIN-NING!"

You just have to love that, if you're a Mets fanhater like me.

So before Charlie runs out of cash-ish (or hash-ish, whatever the case may be), why not reach out and give a hidey-ho and see if Charlie-boy wants to buy the Mets? If for no other reason, I am smacking my lips at merely the thought of some of the possibilities for promotion days. Things like "Smoke Crack With David Wright Day." Or "Two And A Half Kilos Day." You know, shit like that.

Of course, you might want to think twice before you bring your kiddies to the game, but really, don't you do that now???? I mean, DON'T YOU? Because if you don't, you should, exposing the little ones to all that negativity, all that Beltran and Ollie and Freddie and Jeffie and Bernie, and all. Why, it's almost enough to turn the kiddies off baseball for the rest of their lives.

And truly, "Winning," even in the likely Charlie Sheen version, might not be such a bad thing, after all.

The "If Only" Game

2010-04-09T09:58:00.004-04:00

I know it's early in the season, but it's never too early to play a game. Just ask any baseball fan... but anyway, here's the scoop. Let's trying playing the "If Only" Game today, huh? You know how that one works....it's kind of a wishful thinking, find an excuse, use your imagination, spend a little time pondering kind of game.

OK, let's start off with this one: IF ONLY David Wright were as smart in his baseball game as he is in his off-the-field endorsements, say, like the recent one with Vitamin Water! Leads me to wonder if all the brains in the David Wright camp don't belong to David Wright. Now before you crucify me, I've been watching this kid for years now, and it occurs to me over the past year or two that he isn't the brightest knick knack on the shelf...he just doesn't seem to get it, sometimes. And he has that kind of vague, what-am-I-doing type of look on his face much too often for my taste. He's kind of got the Mike Piazza thing going on - kind of a vacuous, insular manner, a seemingly no cares exterior that sometimes drives a fan, well, bonkers.

If people (yes, that means any of YOU!) are expecting D.W. to be a leader on this or any other team, I think, well, IF ONLY you would see the writing on the Citifield wall, and get over it, already! This guy will never be more than a good/very good complementary player. He isn't a guy one builds a team around. He doesn't have the brains, charisma, leadership or other "outside of baseball" qualities that would earn him that right.

IF ONLY the Mets knew that. *Sigh*

So back to the game.

How about this one: IF ONLY Jose Reyes could stay healthy. IF ONLY he had a better attitude and outlook. IF ONLY there would have been a banana peel in the path of Jerry Manuel's ascendance into the manager's job. IF ONLY Omar Minaya could utter one.single.sentence not including the words "you know" or even better, "you know what I mean?" This guy has got to be the most ignorant sounding GM out there. And if he isn't, I want to know who is.

IF ONLY we could make even one solid #2 starter by combining John Maine, Oliver Perez and Mike Pelfrey.

IF ONLY Fred Wilpon were as bright as he is well meaning.

IF ONLY I had something more interesting or positive to say so I wouldn't have to write this pap.

IF ONLY.

The Name Game.....

2010-04-08T14:30:00.003-04:00

Y'all remember that song, "The Name Game," from the 1960s, that went something like this: Shirley, Shirley, bo-birley, banana fanna fo-firley, me mi mo-mmirley.. Shirley! Y'all remember that, right? Back then, we had simple fun with names. We had simple names then. And simple songs. Names like, well, Shirley, for example. Or the ubiquitous John. Or Howard. Or Glen. Or Moe. Or Larry. Or... well, you get the picture. And songs like "The Name Game." Or "Yesterday." Or "Strangers In The Night." You know, simple. And nice. And uncomplicated. Ones that actually made sense, were properly spelled, and were appropriate and, well, nice, and non-embarrassing, and were simple and uncomplicated, in the scheme of things.

Let's turn the clock ahead, shall we? Now, we have names like, well....Jenrry. Which, of course, is pronounced as if it were spelled "Henry." So my question is, why ya spellin' it that way? Why can't you just.spell.it.right????? Why is it that today, everybody's gotta have a cutesy original spelling distortion for a downright ordinary name. Like Jenrry. For Henry. I gotta tell ya, much like Rush Limbaugh and his ilk, this is the kind of stuff that's bugged me for a long time.

And I have no answer for it.

Let's take other names. Like "Anfernee." Tell me, what the hell is "Anfernee" all about, huh? Sounds to me like the person doing the naming couldn't speak properly, and the person writing it down for all posterity couldn't spell properly. The net result of these two faux-pas being "Anfernee." Ugh...it's funny, and sad, and dumb, and ignorant, all at the same time.

So you can imagine that if this is what I'm blogging about today, I'd really rather not discuss last night's game. My friend Thomas did a good enough job of that in his comments to Monday's post.

E(xtremely) S(tupid) P(eople) N(etwork) and O(pening) D(ay)

2010-04-05T10:38:00.005-04:00

I really hate to piss on the parade of cockeyed optimism even the most jaded fan (yrs truly) feels on Opening Day, but I just had to comment about the ESPN pre-game show last night.

What the fuck WAS it? In other words what, exactly, was THAT?

Is it just me, or did any of the rest of you wonder what in hell Dr. Dre, Lebron James and Mr. Whozzywhatsis Big Deal Record Exec were doing on the broadcast? Hyping their "Beats" headphones? I had to look at the channel to make sure the dog didn't accidentally hit something on the remote and flip the TV over to an informercial, fahcryinoutloud!

Look, I fully realize that ESPN has been somewhat unwatchable for a long time, like almost, forever, but last night really, really took the cake. What, exactly, do Dre, James and Mr. Who-zzy have to do with baseball, exactly? If anyone here has the answer, please speak up!

As if all that wasn't bad enough, what was also with the lovefest for No-MAH Garciaparra? Self-promotion and hype at its absolute worst...and for No-MAH to admit that he played in Fenway for, oh, what, eight years? and had never seen the inside of the Green Monster was a little...strange and off-putting, and a real metaphor for how much some of the modern player types care about the sport and its history, really. I mean, I don't know about you, but if I were fortunate enough to wear the uniform of a major league baseball team, playing in an historic venue such as Fenway, I'd be like a kid in candy store. *Sigh* But, I suppose, that's just me, and neither here nor there.

Anyway, Opening Day is here, finally. Despite myself, I actually am looking forward to listening to the game on the FAN today, since I can't watch it. As the New York Lottery is fond of saying, you never know, and as many have said throughout the years, hope springs eternal.

I did have one good laugh this morning on the way to work, though. And that was in listening to the parody of the wonderful Fogarty song "Centerfield," in which Al Dukes laments that "Jerry's our coach," and asks the question that eternally mystifies most Mets fans - "What did he say...today..." and goes even one further, asking "who will play, shortstop, and centerfield?"

Who will play, indeed? The mystery continues, but for today, it's Mets baseball! Batter up!

Send In The Clowns....

2010-04-02T11:19:00.006-04:00

Yeah, yeah, yeah....I haven't forgotten about the blog. It's just that, well, honestly and truly, I just had and have very little interest in the 2009/2010-to-come version of the New York Mets, and grew a little tired of posting only negative things about this...this...this...team (she spat contemptuously).

Anyway, I saw something the other day that just made me hafta comment.

I was channel surfing the other evening, and happened across a Met spring training game being played in Tradition Field. Which reminds me; why do the Mets have to steal EVERY idea from the Yankees? You know, of course, the Yankee spring training home is called "Legends Field." I guess the Mets just had to have a meaningful name for their spring training home, as well. But "Tradition Field?" I'm not sure about you, but I'm mightily concerned about pretty much any and all Mets traditions, including, but not limited to, players that can't seem to stay healthy, ever; management that makes absolutely awful decisions; lousy trades that for some unfathomable reason are often repeated...with the same player (need I mention names here?); managers that can't deal with the heat of the New York press and/or the heat of the New York fans; managers that can't speak coherent sentences, let alone words; managers that wear funny glasses; managers named Jerry Manuel... and.... well... others.

But I digress, as my friend The Coop often says. What brought about this particular post, as I started to say in the last paragraph, was the occasion of my viewing a glimpse of the Met spring training game at Tradition Field the other evening, where I happened to notice the Send In The Clowns logo sign in the outfield.

And I just had to laugh...I really did.

I had to wonder; was it some kind of subconscious masochistic impetus on the part of the Met "braintrust" in the choosing of this particular sponsor in the last few years? Was it a half-hearted effort to be funny? Was it a sad commentary on the state of things in Flushing? Was it stupidity (which gets my vote)? Or was it, rather, a coincidence? Which I really don't believe in. Coincidences, that is. And the Mets, as well, sad to say.

And the fact that apparently, Send In The Clowns has been a sponsor of the Mets for at least a year or so now, and I did not even know it - in fact, I just noticed the sign the other day. Pretty sad, and pretty telling, of my lack of interest in the Mets over the past year or so. Used to be in the day I could name every Mets sponsor off the top of my head, in alphabetical order, with the locations of the various brand logos in the stadium, when their ads would appear in the broadcasts, both radio and TV, and how long it would take Bob Murphy to transform the pronunciation of Manufacturers Hanover Trust into Manufacturers Handover Trust, which I always thought, and still do, would be a pretty funny but accurate name for a bank. Handover, indeed.

So, Send In The Clowns. We shall shortly see them every stinking day once the 2010 season begins. It's indeed become a circus at Citifield, where we Send In The Clowns, rev up the circus, and ride the merry-go-round, around and around again, expecting to get somewhere. It's rather like having one foot nailed to the ground, and furiously attempting to run with the other. And not knowing any better, or being able to stop.

Bozo and Homey The Clown ain't got nuttin' on the Citifield version, that's for sure.

Send In The Clowns, and let the games begin.

Here's What I Just Don't Get....

2009-10-06T13:32:00.003-04:00

...aside from post-season play, a million dollars a week, a manager who is actually coherent, a GM who is at least a half-wit, rather than a dim-wit, and an owner who actually realizes it's the METS he owns and supposedly loves, and not the Dodgers... *sigh*.....

OK, back to the post. Here's what I don't get - the big push by Mets fans for the return of Bobby Valentine to manage the team. What is it about Met culture and Mets fans that more often than not makes them long, yes, yearn, for a return to the past, the not-so-glorious past - a fact which most, if not all, of them, seem to forget. What is it that makes this so with Mets fans? For the life of me, I can't figure it out. Why don't they want to move forward, rather than in reverse? Why do they long for the return of players previously cast off by the team, retreads and has-beens cast off by other teams, and a general mish-mosh of past loved or long-past-their-prime players? It's not as if we've had some real glory days in the fairly recent past that invoke such nostalgia, such desire... in fact, if I recall correctly, Bobby Valentine was much maligned, somewhat disliked, a little hated and basically driven out of town when he managed here. So tell me, Mets fans, why all the love for B.V., suddenly?

In other words, WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU????????????

Aside from the above, there are some very good reasons why Bobby V isn't even CLOSE to being the right manager for this team. For one, there's his ego. He's got to run the show, BE the show, and be basically worshipped by his team. Take a look at the present composition of this team - other than a few marginal guys who probably won't be here next year, identify one player for me that will worship the ground Bobby V walks on. Bobby V needs a young, compliant team - one eager to please, one who will buy into "Bobby Ball;" indeed, one who will buy into BOBBY, period. This ain't that team, folks. And frankly, other than a low payroll, very young team still wet behind the ears, Bobby V has no business managing in MLB at this juncture. He's basically a relic, an anachronism, a has-been who never really was.

Let's move forward, fcol. And if you think moving back is a good idea, I've got two words for you - Bobby Bonilla. Oh, and two more - Steve Phillips.

I Should NEVER Have Changed The Subtitle...

2009-08-11T10:35:00.004-04:00

...of this here blog. You know, the SUBTITLE, where it says "Yeah, that's right, it's time for a new year, a return to the old name....hopefully, with better results!" I guess I shouldn't have changed the name back, either. What in Sam's hill could I POSSIBLY HAVE BEEN THINKING???!!!!! So I guess, if you want to blame anybody for this year's woes, I suppose you can blame me, because, frankly, I NEVER SHOUD HAVE DONE IT. Change the subtitle, that is. Or the name. Back.

What I ALSO never should have done is try to make the proverbial silk purse out of the erstwhile-proverbial sow's ear, a/k/a the 2007-2009 New York Mets. I knew, I simply KNEW, the day Carlos Beltran stood there at the plate, watching the ball whiz by, thereby ending the Mets' 2006 postseason hopes, that it was done, kaput, finis, ended, over, or, as my mom always used to say - fa-toot. Whatever fa-toot actually means. So why, oh why, did I try to deny it???? I guess I fell prey to the false bravado, the cockeyed optimism, the never-say-die, rose-colored optimism of the average, typical New York Mets fan. So I sold my soul, like all Mets fans do, soldiered on, and did what Mets fans always do -- swallow it, and continue on.

Until this year, that is. Now, I know it can be said that injuries have deccimated this team beyond all recognition, and some of that is, of course, true. Obviously, the Mets have suffered grave injury to most of their core; grave and incomprensible injury, in some cases (cough, cough Jose Reyes cough, cough). And that injuries alone are enough to account for the piss poor performances of the past few months, and some of that is also true. But what is more true, and more overwhelming, and more upsetting, is the culture of the Mets -- the culture which seems to value personality and media friendliness over actual intelligence and baseball acumen; the culture which allows the franchise to simply continue rather than to flourish and improve; the culture which apparently doesn't care that 99.99% of its team either doesn't know or doesn't know how to execute the most basic of baseball fundamentals; the culture that doesn't seem to mind that on most days, the team is utterly unwatchable; the culture that seems to believe that simply putting nine men on the field at any given time is enough to insure its own perpetuity; the culture that seems to believe it's ok (nay, indeed, totally proper) to charge exorbitant ticket and concession prices to fans of a team that is barely represented anywhere in its own ballpark.

You know, the Wilpon/Minaya, and later, Wilpon/Minaya/Manuel culture.

And I can't even watch anymore. I can't stand the sight of either Wilpon, or Omar, or Jerry. In fact, if I have to look at Jerry's smiling, laughing, bespectacled puss, or Omar's befuddled, confused expression, once again asking me if I know what he means, or Jeffy's half-witted spewing of Met non sequiturs one more fucking time this year, I'll, I'll, I'll....well, I'll turn it off, which I've been doing for most of this season.

So you can blame me for changing the subtitle, or you can consider the above and put the blame where it really belongs -- on a Met culture which has too long existed, and will probably continue to exist for a lot longer.

Dead Fan Walking....

2009-07-08T11:46:00.002-04:00

...that's exactly how I feel, and almost exactly how I'd bet MOST of my fellow Mets fans feel at this point in time.

I'm thinking of selling these T-shirts, with, of course, the "m" in "man" changed to "f" for "fan," and putting the word "Mets" in front of it...."Dead Mets Fan Walking;" kinda has a ring to it, dontcha think? For as in the movie of similar name, it's really only a matter of time before it's all over, folks....we're just dead fans walking at this point!

Where Were We....

2009-06-30T14:24:00.005-04:00

...when we last left off?

Oh yeah; the Mets sucked.

And they still do.

So I guess what I missed in the interim between blogposts was same old/same old, and more of it.

A bit overly simplistic fer ya? How complicated do you need it to be? Sometimes, it is just that simple. They suck, period, end of story. And what really bugs me isn't so much that they are losing, which is pretty understandable due to the fact that three of our four "stars" are MIA, two of the four MIA for quite some time now. Nay, 'tis not the problem. The problem lies in the shoddy, uninspired, insipid, boring, flat, tired, play of what's left of this team, and I continue to marvel anew each and every day over the lack of execution of even the most basic of baseball fundamentals, which is only surpassed by my daily marvel at how little the team seems to care how badly it sucks.

And David Wright is still mouthing cliches through it all, which is somewhat maddening, head scratching and fairly amusing at the same time. And as far as I'm concerned, so much for Wright As Leader proponents...this guy couldn't lead a squirrel to an acorn. Even if it were an inch from its nose.

Bottom line, kiddies? As Kurtis Blow once said (and boy, do they blow!)...these are the breaks.... BREAK IT UP, BREAK IT UP, BREAK IT UP! Please, oh, please, somebody....ANYbody...dismantle this pathetic mess. They're simply unwatchable, which is why I haven't been. Watching, that is. Or blogging, as my one-half reader has probably noticed.

So in that happy fucking spirit, here's my little rewrite of the Blow ditty:

Clap your hands everybody
If you got what it takes
Cause we all know, that the Mets, they blow,
And these are the breaks...

Brakes on a bus brakes on a car
Breaks don't make Dave a superstar
Mets don't win, Mets just lose
And Mets fans, they just get the blues...

And these are the breaks
Break 'em up, break 'em up, BREAK 'EM UP!

If Delgado don't come back this year
(That's the breaks that's the breaks)
And Jose Reyes, status unclear,
And Jerry Manuel, well, he wants to chat,
And he can't explain why he played that cat...

And Freddie Boy sends you a bill
For tickets that don't give you no thrill
And you borrowed money from your pop
Just so's you could watch this slop

Well, these are the breaks
Break 'em up, BREAK 'EM UP, BREAK 'EM UP!

Throw your hands up in the sky
And wave 'em 'round from side to side
And if you deserve a break tonight
Somebody say alright!

(All right) Say ho-oo!

(Ho-oo!) And you don't stop

Keep on, somebody scream!

(Owwwww!) Break down!

Breaks on a stage, breaks on a screen
The Mets, they make your wallet lean
The Mets run cold, and you run hot
And breaks is something you ain't got

But these are the breaks
Break 'em up, BREAK 'EM UP, BREAK 'EM UP!!!

Break down!

To the boys in blue, what's wrong wit chu?
(Break 'em up, break 'em up)
To the boys in blue, whatcha gonna do?
To the boys in blue, I'm tired a you!
To the boys is blue, a big f*** you!

Break down!

Brakes on a plane, brakes on a train
The Mets just make you go insane
Breaks in love, breaks in war
We got no breaks, we never score!

And these are the breaks
Break 'em up, BREAK 'EM UP, BREAK 'EM UP!!!!

Break down! Yo!

Just do it, just do it, just do it, do it, do it!
Just do it, just do it, just do it, do it, do it!
Just do it, just do it, just do it, do it, do it!
Just do it, just do it, just do it, do it, do it!

You say last week they played so well
(That's the breaks, that's the breaks)
And then it all went straight to hell
They promised us the stars in the sky
And instead, all we got to do is cry

Well, these are the breaks!

Break 'em up, BREAK 'EM UP, BREAK 'EM UP!

Break down.......

Pelfrey Comes Up Small, And Other Stuff

2009-06-04T16:10:00.005-04:00

Talk about coming up small, Charlie Brown...we need speak no other name than Mike Pelfrey. After the banged up, hobbled up, crippled up and just plain throwing up version of the Mets lost the first two games of the Pittsburgh series, you would think, YOU WOULD THINK, after an unplanned off-day yesterday, that they might find a way to crawl out of their miserable hole and salvage the final game of the series....

Nada, nope, negatory, good buddy. Instead, Mike Pelfrey comes up way short and the Mets get swept by the Pirates. SWEPT. BY THE PIRATES. BY.THE.PIRATES. One of the worst teams in the league with an organization and management possibly worse than ours.

I say possibly, because lately, that's truly up for debate. In fact, I'm starting to think the Mets' organization has no clue how to manage medical issues, on top of the no clue they already have in the areas of manager, general manager, and owner. And while we're at it, we can throw in player and personnel management, here, if we want.

But back to the subject at hand, which is the piss poor pathetic performance of one Mike Pelfrey on an afternoon when his team really, REALLY needed him.

As Charlie Brown has been wont to say.... *sigh.* Yes, Virginia, today the Mets finally played some "small ball," but in typical Mets fashion, they eschewed the conventional meaning of the term and did what the Mets all-too-often do...they bastardize the meaning of the term into something exquisitely horrible and painful to watch.

And here's something interesting vis-a-vis our erstwhile division nemesis, the Atlanta Braves. As sports fans are now aware, the Braves pulled off a trade with the Pirates yesterday, giving up three prospects for outfielder Nate McLouth, which, when I heard it, caused me to have the following thoughts: (a) it's obvious the Braves had a need in the outfield, more particularly, in center field, since what they were getting out of CF this year was a pathetic interstate batting average; (b) amazingly, the Braves were ABLE TO IDENTIFY this need; and (c) they went out and filled the need with an appropriate player, a young guy with chops and a good track record thus far, not some crippled up old guy, or some cheap marginal guy, or some guy who has no idea how to actually play the position which he'll be asked to play on a daily basis, or some guy that probably can't play the position but they're going to force him into it anyway because they think he can be good, not that he's ever proven it, mind you; and (d) problem solved.

They also released Tom Glavine, thus ridding themselves of an ineffective and oft-injured player, in a decisive manner, understanding that they would have to eat the rest of his contract, but knowing that addition by subtraction is sometimes very wise. Very wise, indeed. Especially when you want to move strongly forward.

I ask you, Mets fans, when's the last time the Mets did something, ANYTHING, as simple and smart as what the Braves have just done?

Don't even answer that. Don't even.

A-HEM....

2009-05-27T15:19:00.003-04:00

...not to gloat or anything, but I thought this one was worth a second look.

So much for the opinion of the masses as concerns one Gary Sheffield.

This only proves that every once in a while, even this blind squirrel finds a nut.

P.S. Gawd, I just HATE gloaters, don't you?????

Fra-GI-le

2009-05-21T11:11:00.007-04:00

...yep, much like the pictured lamp from the wonderfully charming and heartwarming movie, A Christmas Story, this team is fra-GI-le. Only, unlike the movie, the fragility of this team is anything but wonderful, charming and/or heartwarming. They are fra-GI-le in so many ways, it's almost, well...let's count some of the ways, shall we?

They have a manager who seems to have an overly fra-GI-le ego. He seems to think he's better, smarter, faster than he really is; a manager who can barely put a coherent sentence together, let alone have a coherent thought; a manager who by hocus pocus, sheer affability, likeability and trickery has bamboozled many into thinking he actually knows what the hell he's doing; a manager who has made an art of the schmoozily breezy delivery of his long winded, poorly conceived sentences devoid of originality, any real content or any real coherency...which come to think of it, is probably as good a metaphor as any for this whole entire fucking team we call the New York Mets.

They have players who cannot seem to adapt, EVER, to the usual pratfalls and pitfalls that all teams incur during the long, 162-game marathon that is the baseball season; players who cannot adjust to changing roles, changing habitats, and just plain change; players who cannot seem to stay off the disabled list; players who don't know the first thing about the basics of the game; with a manager who while talking out of one side of his mouth, spouting his partially incoherent gobbledygook about stressing fundamentals, in reality continues to field and tolerate a team that does anything but.

Gee, Jerry, did you think we wouldn't notice... or did you think you could get away with this shit forever?

I guess you did.

And maybe you are.

The Strangeness Continues....

2009-05-19T13:41:00.004-04:00

...and watching Mets baseball, lately, is kind of like watching The Twilight Zone; only you wanna change that channel, and touch that dial, and do something to get the strange and somewhat unreal Met team this year off of your cloud....!!!!!

In what has to be the strangest play of the year thus far, Ryan Church, while running the bases in the top of the 11th inning, scoring what everyone assumed was the go-ahead run, apparently failed to touch third base, a fact which an extremely alert Joe Torre happened to pick up immediately, appealing the play to the third base umpire by having his infield throw the ball to the third baseman, Mark Loretta, who was standing on the bag; the umpire then promptly calling Ryan Church out.

Sorry for the run-on sentence, but really, that's how it happened. Just like that. And if you think the sentence was confusing, cumbersome and poorly constructed; well, just take a good look at this team.

And frankly, that's the only excuse I can think of to explain why it appears that Jerry Manuel doesn't have a brain in his fucking head.

And if you think MY sentences are run-on and going nowhere in the pursuit of trying to convince you that I'm having a real thought or two, and have any clue at all that I know even a smattering of what the hell I'm talking about -- well, I offer you any pre- or post-game press conference, or for that matter, ANY press conference, featuring the aforesaid Jerry Manuel.

These not only make you scratch your head; they also make you wonder how the hell a guy who can barely utter a coherent thought, much less have one, could have possibly captured the reins of a major league baseball team in the largest city in the world.

Have we really regressed this far?

Seven Stolen Bases...

2009-05-15T15:06:00.003-04:00

...in last night's game.

SEVEN.

And here's a question for you kiddies out there. And that question is, how many of those do you think Jose Reyes got?

And the answer is, of course - NONE! It's a trick question! Jose didn't play last night due to a sore calf, but as I said in my Quick Recap, one wonders if it it's his calf, or his ass, wherein the problem lies.

Or perhaps in his head, which is woefully devoid of good baseball instinct. While some of Jose's faux-pas can be attributed to the condition of humanity (i.e., we all make mistakes), and yet others can be attributed to lack of maturity, while yet others can be blamed on "injuries," there lies a huge pool of errors, bad judgments, mistakes, dudley-do-wrongs, foibles, potent poopables, gaffes, miscues and just plain bad baseball that goes on with Reyes that simply cannot be explained any other way.

Or perhaps, like the man in the picture, he is just confused.

Yikes.

Here's another thing - the Sheffield thing. Now, today I've listened to WFAN, and I'm hearing some of the show hosts talk about David Wright's taking of the reins of leadership last night, and Beltran's clutch hitting, and the team playing like a team, with focus, with thought, with something resembling (at last) good, or maybe just decent, fundamental baseball, and my thoughts turned to Gary Sheffield.

You guys remember him, right? The Fifth Outfielder, The Extra Man, The Man Without A Team, The Man Nobody Wanted?

And I'm thinking, not only is the game of baseball surrounded by and made up of a bunch of fools, but this is the kind of guy who could really make a difference in the clubhouse and on the field by the way he plays the game.

And last night, he did.

It's not Wright, dummies. Or maybe it is, but it isn't ONLY Wright. Nobody seems willing to credit the presence of Sheffield, with his quiet professionalism, his knowledge of the game, his desire to play it right, and his willingness to get down and dirty.

I'm going to be very interested to watch what happens to this team with Sheff on the field now that Delgado may be down and out for awhile.

Bizarro Jerry....

2009-05-12T16:11:00.005-04:00

...and NO, I ain't talking about THIS Bizarro Jerry; I'm speaking, of course, about our very own Bizarro Jerry Manuel. Honestly, I kind of blame myself for his el stupido last night, because I should never have started the whole Bizarro Mets thingy, but, well...anyway...

Someone please explain to me why everyone in the ballpark, including the bugs, the stands, and the food in the concessions, knew that Pedro Feliciano, a lefty specialist, should NEVER have been left in (no pun intended) to pitch to a right handed hitter who, according to the announcers, absolutely kills left hand pitching...except, of course, the lovely Bizarro Jerry.

I swear, sometimes Bizarro Jerry leaves me scratching my head and other various and sundry assorted body parts, all of which I won't mention here out of good taste.

Even though Wright and Reyes made key errors (especially Reyes' error in the later innings, which opened the door for Bizarro Jerry to make his Bizarro non-move), lay this one at the foot of the Bizarre.

Or should I say, The Bizarro Jerry.

Welcome To The World Of The Bizarro Mets....

2009-05-11T14:12:00.004-04:00

...as in, who are these guys, where have they been, where are they going, and WHAT HAVE THEY DONE WITH THE NEW YORK METS?????

Because, man, the team you and I have seen in the last week bears little or no resemblance to what some of us know to be the REAL Mets, except they play in CitiField (or is that Bizarro CitiField???), they wear Mets uniforms, and.... they even LOOK remarkably like the REAL Mets, man for man.

Bizarro.... totally bizarro!

Some of you may remember that Seinfeld episode, "The Bizarro Jerry," where Elaine meets up with three guys named Kevin, Gene and Feldman, who are eerily, oddly, freakily and bizarrely like Jerry, George and Kramer? Only they're not.... they're like polar opposites of the three, being everything Jerry, George and Kramer, aren't, and won't ever be, and all co-existing in a bizzare almost zen-like state of consciousness?

Well, that's how I feel about this current version of the New York Mets.

The Bizarro Mets.

And what's even MORE bizarro, is that in another strange and crazy twist, the New York Yankees are suddenly the former New York Mets, the REAL Mets, the hapless and hopeless and can't-get-out-of-their-own-way Mets.

The Bizarro Yankeemets.

Freaky.

And bizarro.

And the Big Pussy's Pick of the Month Goes To...

2009-04-30T10:28:00.004-04:00

None other than Mr. Face-of-the-Franchise, Mr. Future-Mets-Star, Mr. American Idol, Day-vid Wright! (to be said like the Mets PA announcer at CitiField)

This fan exiting CitiField after Wednesday, April 29th's horrific game against the Marlins says it all - no one wants to admit they're a Mets fan, and no one wants to admit they have a David Wright jersey. No one wants to know him. Mets fans want to forget his name*.

It seems a bit unfair to be picking on "The Face" when he's done so much for the Mets in the past. In 2006, he was Yankee and Brave killer #1. In 2007, he was an All-Star starter and a Gold Glove. In 2008, he rebounded from an incredibly painfully slow start to put up great numbers.

Admittedly, Mets fans expect too much from him at times. We want him to rip the cover off the ball anytime there are men on base, we want him to make sparkling gems of plays at third base 24/7, to have an ear-to-ear grin on his face when they win and to lose sleep and cry with every loss. Not for nothing, I like say it's the FANS who are the Mets, not the mercenaries in uniforms. But D-Dubs. He's one of us.

However, ever since the late-season collapse once again in 2008 and the incredibly visible striking out with Daniel Murphy on third with no outs lead-off-triple in the bottom of the 9th against the Cubs (who had nothing to play for at that point), what does David Wright do?

Strikes out, leading to a dick move from Lou Pineilla to intentionally walk Dos Carloses, to get Brian Schneider to ground out into a fielder's choice and subsequently ends the mini-rally started by D-Murphy.

David got a lot of flak for that. And gave him the moniker "D-Wrod" which is a nod to another famous pussy-esque NY-based third baseman who seems more into padding his own stats and kissing his own image than helping his inflated team win a championship.

But David Wright is no A-Rod. A-Rod has, for all intents and purposes, proven his worth by hitting over-.300 each year, driving in lots of runs and winning MVPs every other year it seems. David Wright has a LONG way to go before being fairly compared to Alex Rodriguez.

It is NOT too early to see him cave under pressure and call him out on that, so let's do it!

David, you have to understand that while you wear your emotions on your sleeve, you play in New York. Mets fans want to see you succeed and your free goodwill pass has all but expired. The reason is not NOT coming through in the clutch, NOT letting key ground balls bounce off your chest at key moments in the game, NOT driving in many runs this early in the season.

The reason your free pass has expired is because you are soft, you are thin-skinned and we know it gets to you.

What else can I say that hasn't been said already about David Wright? Sure he's gotten off to a slow start and I know he is WAY too talented to fester all season. I have to believe as a die-hard Mets fan he will come around.

But I will leave you, dear readers, with this little anecdote. When The Coop was growing up, sure, she was always a Mets fan. But I used to follow baseball teams with my dad, Mr. E who played baseball pools. My favorite player was Cal Ripken, Jr. And when he retired, Mr. E and I went to Baltimore for his final game and number retirement ceremony.

David Wright, being from the Delmarva region, also has said "Rip" was his favorite player and will always try to play to his level.

But friends, I think we all agree he has a LONG way to go before becoming "Iron Man."

I leave you with this final thought. David Wright - I know Cal Ripken. And sir, YOU are no Cal Ripken.

And sir, you ARE a big fuckin' pussy. Grow a pair already and lead this team out of the doldroms and play some exciting baseball for fuck's sake.

The Tears Of A Clown.....

2009-04-27T11:28:00.003-04:00

...with 40,000 people around....

Yikes! I guess there's no such thing as Good Ollie/Bad Ollie; rather, there's just Bad Ollie, and Worse Ollie, apparently. If his performance thus far this season is any indicator.

Which we have no reason to believe it isn't, considering the up and down history of Ollie Perez thus far in his major league career.

This guy is an enigma wrapped in a riddle wrapped in another enigma, surrounded by mystery. And the mystery is, how to get the enigma known as Oliver Perez to solve the riddle of pitching consistency, which is wrapped in the enigma of Ollie's mind... At this point, one has to wonder whether his spot in the rotation will be his spot in the rotation for much longer.

And speaking of the weekend, the Mets are the only team I know that can win a series and still make you want to put your fist through the television, radio, or face of any nearby Met or Met-themed object. They are singularly the most brain-dead, boring, lifeless, flat, listless and underperforming team east of...well, anywhere.

And Carlos Beltran must have forgotten how to slide, and his manager does not seem to have a real problem with that.

Metaphoric, allegoric.... I need the paragoric with this fucking team, already!

Panic in Detroi.... Uh, I Mean, New York??????

2009-04-24T13:06:00.004-04:00

...yeah, yeah, yeah... we ALL know about the panic in Detroit these days (I wonder if Bowie knew all this was going to happen when he wrote the song???), but is there panic in New York? And if there isn't, should there be?

Well, according to some sources, like Adam Rubin, some of the coaches' jobs might be on the line if things don't turn around in Metsland very quickly. Which to me, is another huge metaphor for the blame-everyone-and-everything-else mentality that is so prevalent across society these days. It doesn't seem as if anybody wants to stand up and say, hey, it's on me, I'm not getting it done...If you listen to some of the quotes from some of the Met players so far this year, it sure seems as if nobody is willing to step up, take this bull by the horns, and lead the team out of mediocrity and downright lousy baseball playing into the land of baseball plenty. In fact, it seems as if the blame is being thrown to the coaches, the rookie (Murphy), the fifth starter (Livan), the acquisition of Gary Sheffield (for throwing the team into chaos, as if it wasn't already *eye roll*), and various and sundry other assorted red herrings.

All designed, of course, as red herrings are, to take our ears and eyes off the REAL problems in this organization, which are, in no particular order: Fred Wilpon, Jeff Wilpon, The Shadow of Bernie Madoff, Omar Minaya, Jerry Manuel, The Fucking Nutcase Formerly Known as Ollie Perez, Every Starting Pitcher Not Named Johan Santana, and The Four Horsemen in the middle of the order, who look as if they've been thrown from the horse.

For fuck's sake, the coaches are so far down on that list as to not even be on it.

So my only real question here is, who is kidding who? Or is that WHOM? Regardless, I surely hope that Met fans aren't so stupid as to believe there isn't something, maybe even more than one something, fundamentally wrong with this team. This is the same type of uninspired, unagressive, flat, boring, un-fundamentally sound type of play we've seen for much of the past several seasons.

As I said last year, as much as I wasn't a fan of Willie, changing the manager wasn't the answer. I think that's been shown to be true to this point.

It's the players, dummy; it's the team make-up. The core is flawed. Some major changes need to occur. Something better be breaking up that old gang of mine. Because it doesn't look for all the world as if any one of the core (Reyes, Wright, Beltran, Delgado) is going to step up and lead this team.

Which is one of the things it surely needs.

And one more thing -- you know what really galls me about the sweep by the Cardinals this past week? Not the sweep, not losing the games.... not nearly as much as having to look at the competence, preparedness, inspired play, grit and talent of what I consider to be the premier organization in major league baseball - the St. Louis Cardinals. You know, the organization that can turn pitching shit into pitching shinola (Braden Looper, Chris Carpenter, Kyle Lohse, just to name a few recent shit to shinola transitions), they can turn pitching shit into outfield shinola (Rick Ankiehl), and can keep the top player in the game (need I mention his name???) motivated and alert and attentive. Not to mention that having to praise LaRussa as probably one of the best managers in the game today is going down a bit rough.

And tonight, we begin a three-game series with a team so pathetic it can't even spell its own team name properly on its game shirts.

At least we can still do that.

The Big Ditto....

2009-04-23T09:55:00.002-04:00

Why even bother writing a post today about last night's game? It's The Big Ditto -- poor pitching, worse offense, another loss.

Ditto, fucking ditto.

The Big Fucking Ditto.

Gawd, they suck, don't they?

U - G - L - Y.....

2009-04-22T09:16:00.003-04:00

....they ain't got no alibi; they ugly, hunh, hunh, they ugly!

And even the image in the picture, as ugly as it may be, doesn't even come CLOSE to how ugly New York Mets baseball has gotten. From Good Ollie/Bad Ollie, to lack of fundamental execution, to outfielder(s) falling down on the job, literally, to seasoned, established veterans failing to slide into home plate, to the manager basically falling asleep, much like the team.... ay yi, yi... it ain't pretty, to say the least.

In fact, it's downright ugly.

So before you wonder about the SIZE of the image I've posted.... remember, Mets fans, that's how BIG the ugly is in Metsland these days.

Poor performances to the side, there is simply NO EXCUSE for the failure to execute fundamentals in the field, at the plate, and on the bases. These guys, for the most part, for almost the ENTIRE part, are seasoned veteran players. How can they not know or care about these things? Has the state of New York Mets baseball gotten that pathetic that it is almost akin to watching AAA ball, or worse?

I have several questions, but the most pressing one, at this point, is why the so-called "brain trust" of the Mets is allowed to remain at the helm. Because folks, while they may not be causing it, the net effect of what they've brought in and allow to happen on the field speaks for itself.

Dog Day Afternoon...

2009-04-20T12:34:00.004-04:00

...at Citifield yesterday, the Mets losing a very lacklusterly (is that even a word??) game to the equally lackluster Brewers in pretty much of a sleeper (that is, one you could just about sleep through and not miss anything).

Which, unfortunately, describes most Met games these days, and even going back into last year. Lackluster. Dead. Boring. Unimaginative. Nothing happening. Ho hum. Unexciting. Channel surfing. Whatever. Who cares. The only reason I'm still watching this team is because they bear the Met name. Otherwise, I feel no ties to the team, and I'm sure, they feel no ties to us. Their fans. Their non-adoring public.

And even their adoring ones.

I wonder sometimes; why am I wasting my valuable time following a team that I don't even like? Because I don't, and haven't, for a while now.

And the only answer I have is that they are the Mets, and I'm a Met fan.

Okay, enough of my angst. Here's a hodge podge of some stuff I've noticed and thought about thus far in the early season.

For one thing, the new Yankee Stadium seems to be a launching pad of sorts. Even Yankee shill extraordinnaire (Mike Francesa) is sort of panicking about the fact that 20 home runs have been hit in the new stadium in four games. Perhaps he's more worried about the fact that OTHER TEAMS are hitting them, and has conveniently forgotten that his team, the mighty Yankees, has even more opportunity to do so, seeing as how they'll play half their fucking games there every year.

Or perhaps, this is indicative of a greater worry -- that the Yankees are just not that good, period.

I'd be much more concerned about Chien Ming Wong, if I were Mikey, and the likes of A-Rod, Texeira and Posada, not to mention an aging Jeter, who is being treated by his manager with the kiddest of kid gloves thus far this season, having received a very early hook in every blowout both in favor of and not in favor of the Yankees thus far this year.

For another thing, it seems as if Ryan Church is the Most Hated Guy on the team in the eyes of Met brass. All the guy does is play a great right field in a park where that's going to be crucial, hit the cover off the ball, and what's his reward? Riding the pine. Unfuckingbelievable. And the Prodigal Son Boy Wonder Daniel Murphy seems to be living the life of Riley with the same Met brass. Unfuckingbelievable. Do we need any more signs that the Mets have no fucking clue about how to run a team?

And all Nelson Figueroa gets for his strong effort yesterday is gone.

Although I do think the Mets might have something in this Santos guy. So far, he looks strong behind the plate, seems to have a clue at the plate, and can even run the bases.

And enough with the Jerry Manuel lovefest, already. He's just not a great manager, and still not the right manager for this team. But, as I said last year when the team fired Willie, it ain't the manager, folks. It's the team, but more than that, it's the Mets, period. With all the money they have to spend, they continue to produce an also-ran, year after year, and manage to bore the shit out of most (well, at least some) of the fans while doing it.

In short, another year of Met baseball. Ho hum. Tweedle Dee. Or should I say, Tweedle Dum... and Dumber!

Don't Hand Me No Lines....

2009-04-17T09:31:00.003-04:00

...and keep your hands to yourself! Or so the old Georgia Satellites classic goes...and too bad more fans all over baseball don't take heed of that refrain, and keep their hands to themselves!

I'm speaking specifically, of course, about the fan's touching of the Daniel Murphy double in last night's game that kept Jose Reyes from scoring, the touching causing the ground rules to take effect on a ball Reyes could ordinarily have easily scored on from first base.

I'll never understand how people who claim to be fans of a team would do anything in the stands to hurt the chances of their supposed favorite team winning. This includes idiots who heckle the home players every chance they get; idiots who throw things on the field; idiots who snap photos in the eyes of players at crucial moments; and yes, Virginia, idiots who for whatever reason have to reach out and touch someone...or something. Like balls such as the one Daniel Murphy hit last night. I don't know, maybe it's a reflex thing, or maybe it's a selfish desire to catch a keepsake or become a part of the game... but if I'm in the stands and I'm paying attention to the game, I'm not doing or touching anything that would put my team behind the eight ball.

So if you're a fan, at the game, and you wanna reach out and touch someone...or someTHING... please save your irresistible urges for foul balls, bats which accidentally fly into the stands, paper flying past your face, or the hot guy's as...... er, I mean, uh, never mind.....!!!!!

Whew, ok, now. That being said, this offense is really grating. It's almost as annoyingly bothersome as is the whole Ollie Perez Jekyll/Hyde thingy. While home runs are nice, they're not the only way to score runs, hint hint, Mets! And frankly, with the Big Bopper mentality, I think sometimes the players don't think as much about Small Ball as they should. And they tend to get on base and wait around for someone to smack the big one.

Right now, the Mets are just not putting it all together. They're off kilter a bit, and need to settle down and get down to business.

So, as Kool and The Gang once said... GET DOWN ON IT!

Sometimes, I just crack myself up!

And Ollie Wakes the F*** Up!

2009-04-16T11:49:00.003-04:00

...after The Big Sleep of Monday night, Oliver Perez wakes the fuck up, as does the offense, and the Mets get a much-needed win over the Padres last night at Citifield.

A couple of things.

First, I'm getting tired, already, of wondering whether Oliver The Good or Oliver The Bad will show up for work. It's like, flip a coin, already -- you never know what you're going to get with Ollie. But when he's good, he's real good, and when he's bad, he's...well...real bad. This is enough to drive any Met fan crazy, and I'm thinking of starting a self-help group for Met fans driven nuts by Oliver Perez. You know the drill - it goes something like this: "Hello, my name is Deb. I am a Mets fan that's slowly being driven out of my mind by Oliver Perez. I've had this problem for some time now, and I've finally realized that I need help; I can't go it alone...."

Anybody else wanna join? We could call it, uh, Ollieholics Anonymous, or something like that.

Or just plain Self-Help for Dummies, because I sometimes think I have to be an idiot to let that nut case known as Oliver Perez continue to drive me off the deep end.

As I previously said, the offense woke the fuck up last night, as well, and actually looked as if it showed up for work. Apparently, our boys DO know how to move runners, run the bases, steal bases, and situationally hit. Perhaps they are afflicted with a touch of off-again-on-again Ollie-itis?

Nah!

Rubber game tonight at Citifield. Stay awake, boys!

The Big Sleep....

2009-04-13T09:35:00.006-04:00

...is exactly the terminology I'd use to describe the Met season thus far, at least from a fan's watching standpoint.

The Big Sleep.

The Big Yawn.

The Big Nothing.

Welcome to another season of tantalizingly sub-par Mets baseball, courtesy of the poorly constructed Met lineup and the blazing ennui of most of its participants.

The Big Sleep.

I've said for a couple of years now that I dislike the make-up of this team; Gary, Keith and Ron so much as agreed with that, and stated so publicly, during the post-game broadcast of the last 2008 Met game. Anybody else but me remember? Because, boy, it sure seems as if Gary, Keith and Ron don't! I specifically recall all THREE of them opining that the core of the team needed changing...and what do we have this year, Mets fans? The same rotten apple core we had last year, and the year before that. Now, I grant you, taken individually, most of these guys seem, at least on paper, to be genuinely solid and borderline spectacular players, but taken together, there is just something missing.

And Omar & Co. just don't seem to get it. Or if they do, they seem to operate under the assumption that working on one part of the team at a time is enough. Or perhaps, more accurately, is all they're capable of doing.

But let's deal with what we have at the moment, shall we? More specifically...the lineup. We'll start at the bottom -- Brian Schneider, Luis Castillo, and the pitcher du jour. Schneider, in my opinion, should be batting eighth, period. Batting Castillo eighth, regardless of his somewhat checkered past years, is a huge waste, not to mention it doing nothing for his ego, which is equally troublesome, again, in my opinion. I still believe he belongs second in the lineup, behind Reyes, if for no other reason than those two really seem to work well together and feed off each other.

I still don't like The Two Carloses back to back, and I don't like David Wright in the three hole, period. At least, not thus far this year, and maybe not ever.

And while we're at it, I still don't believe Jerry Manuel is the right manager for this team.

And in case you don't believe this team still isn't a team, witness Johan Santana's remarks about Daniel Murphy after yesterday's game. Although he doesn't really throw Murphy to the dogs, he basically blames the loss on Danny, and conveniently forgets about the fact that the rest of his fucking team managed to score only one run and basically look totally lame and lacking while doing it.

The Big Sleep. Yawn. I'm already bored to tears, and it's only the first week of the season.

Ollie Jekyll and Ollie Hyde....

2009-04-10T13:34:00.002-04:00

....strikes again. Or should I say, "strike" again, since syntax-wise, I suppose the latter is the correct verbiage, or so the "and" in the title of this post would indicate.

Anyway, enough with the English lesson. The REAL point of this post is, of course, the Two Natures of Oliver Perez. Both of which we actually saw yesterday; one of which ended up winning out, causing Ollie Hyde to give up enough runs in few enough innings that the Mets, realistically, had little or no chance to win the game, even though the offense pretty much gave it a valiant effort.

Look, we knew when we re-signed Ollie in the off-season that we were actually giving the money and the contract to TWO DIFFERENT GUYS. So if you didn't know better, you'd think; okay, we're getting two for one. But, Mets fans, here's the rub -- we're getting Ollie Jekyll and Ollie Hyde, and we never know which one we're going to get from month to month, week to week, game to game, and even inning to inning, as we saw yesterday.

Now one can argue that a big deal can't be made about yesterday because it is, after all, Ollie's first start of the season, made in pretty lousy weather, after an abominably and ridiculously long spring training, and pitching in general is pretty up and down in these cold, early season months. And we did know what we were signing on for, after all.

But man, I don't know about you, but doesn't this just grate on your last nerve, already, at this point? As Yogi Berra once said, "Ninety percent of the game is half mental," and I'm beginning to believe that Oliver Perez is, indeed, half mental.

Ninety percent of the time.

Another One for the "Stuff of the Monumentally Stupid...."

2009-04-07T16:12:00.004-04:00

And thy name is Mike Francesa. Yes, you miserable rat bastard....

I don't know why I let this over.... uh, bearing, yeah, that's right, overbearing, overstuffed, blowhard of a windbag take up space on this here blog, but today, I thought he truly deserved another mention.

I'm on my way up to north Jersey last night, to Ft. Lee, to be exact. Never mind for what..... anyway, I'm listening to Francesa on the FAN, talking about the Yankee/Oriole game then in progress. The score goes from 6-1 in favor of the Orioles to 6-5 in favor of the Orioles rather quickly, and Francesa is sitting on his oversized throne, glibly extolling the non-virtues of the Oriole bullpen (i.e., they have none), loudly proclaiming in peacock tones and tenor that the Orioles will have their hearts broken by the [insert favorite Francesa adjective for the Yankees here] Yankees.... and no sooner the shit was out of the shinola than Yankee middle relief coughs up four runs and the "non-existent" Oriole bullpen shuts the door on the [insert favorite Francesa adjective for the Yankees here] Yankees.

And them, folks, is all she wrote.

It's really hard to believe anybody takes this [insert your favorite adjective for Francesa here] idiot seriously.

The "Sheff" Of The Future????

2009-04-03T15:18:00.003-04:00

No, kiddies, I ain't talking about Ralph and Norton, they of the wonderfully hysterical and timeless Honeymooners' sketch....

I just wanted to let y'all know, in case you're living under a rock with no cell phone or radio or TV or snail mail or friends or enemies, even...that the formerly great Gary Sheffield is now a New York Met. That's right; you heard me. He's a New York Met.

And I say this with some surprise, because frankly, he's not the kind of guy I thought the Mets would ever go for. Considering his personality, his ego, his baggage, and all. His "me me me" attitude is definitely a "no no no" with the Mets.

But there is one reason, and one reason only, that the Wilpons went for this deal, and I'll give ya three guesses why, and the first two guesses don't count.

Okay, now that you've guessed MONEY - DING DING DING DING DING!!!!! That's right, The Sheff has been had on the cheap, having been unceremoniously dumped by The Tigers, despite the $14M they still owe him, at the 499 home run mark.

Now THAT, my friends, is some really nasty shit. I wonder what ol' Sheff did to piss them off that much.

Speculation aside, there is no way anybody can convince me in the slightest that this is not the steal of the decade for the Mets, and an answer to a long-existing problem in the lineup - the lack of a truly significant credible power threat from the right side of the plate. You simply slide Sheff in there, and whammo presto - the complexion of the entire lineup changes, physically and mentally.

On both sides of the ball.

This is a GREAT move. And the timing is FABULOUS.

The GBU's Keys To 2009 - Rest and Flexibility!

2009-04-01T11:13:00.004-04:00

And no, I'm not talking about sleep and gymnastics...I'm talking about what this team, this 2009 New York Mets team, needs in order to make it into postseason play this year. Because they certainly have, on paper, enough talent to get there...so what, my friends, will be the difference makers, the things that will bring the team from its all-too-familiar-of-late-late-season collapse to the postseason? That's right - rest, and flexbility!

It just occurred to me the other day that I've missed the obvious when it comes to the first one - rest. Now, I've said before on this here blog that it wasn't necessarily a good thing for the Mets to acquire "old guys," because of the fact that Willie, when he managed the Mets, had a tendency to unthoughtfully and unimaginitively throw the same lineup out there day after day...after day...after day. With nary a day of rest for anyone. In other words, he wore the fuck out of the lineup. Now, with young guys, this is risky enough, but with old lads, well...it's a certain recipe for collapse. As we saw. And it never really occurred to this pea brain of mine that there was a very simple reason why the team collapsed in the last two weeks of the season -- THEY WERE SIMPLY TIRED, WORN OUT, SPENT. I danced around it, sure, but now I'm coming right out and saying it -- off days for all! While it's nice that Carlos Beltran can play 162 games, or that David Wright HATES to sit even for one day, the fact of the matter is, folks, the baseball season is as much a marathon as it is an athletic endeavor, and we need to remember that when thoughtfully and intelligently considering our daily lineup.

Which Jerry Manuel is definitely capable of doing; which Willie for whatever reason just couldn't, wouldn't, and didn't.

Okay, so that's one.

Now for the flexibility thing. Let's say, for example, that Dan Murphy can't hit his way out of the proverbial paper bag in the two spot, while Luis Castillo smokes the shit out of the ball batting in the eight spot. And let's say, further, that this occurs for a few straight weeks. Now, if you were Willie, what would you do? That's right, you'd STUBBORNLY stick to Dan in the two and Luis in the eight just because that's what you had chosen, what you thought, hoped, and WANTED to work, and dammit, you weren't giving up on it.

And if you were Jerry, you'd be switching those two faster than a dress between two transsexuals.

See, now THAT'S what I mean by flexibility. Flexibility in thought, and flexibility in putting that thought into action.

What a concept.

Government, Heal Thyself!

2009-03-23T08:49:00.005-04:00

A friend of mine sent this to me over the weekend, and in view of what's going on these days with the economy, the bailouts, the car industry, the bailouts, the government, the bailouts.... well, it occurred to me that maybe we ought to be looking at some other ways of correcting those things in this country that might, just MIGHT, need a little tweaking.

So government, heal thyself...and behold:

A guy goes to the Post Office to apply for a job. The interviewer asks him, "Are you allergic to anything?"

He replies, "Yes - caffeine."

The interviewer then asks, "Have you ever been in the military service?"

And the man replies: "Yes, I was in Iraq for two years."

The interviewer says, "That will give you 5 extra points toward employment." And then he asks, "Are you disabled in any way?"

The man replies, "Yes...an IED exploded near me and I lost both of my testicles."

The interviewer grimaces and then says, "O.K. You've got enough points for me to hire you right now. Our normal hours are from 8:00 A.M. to 4:00 P.M. You can start tomorrow at 10:00 - and plan on starting at 10:00 A.M. every day."

The guy is puzzled and says, "If the work hours are from 8:00 A.M. to 4:00 P.M., why don't you want me to here until 10:00 A.M.?"

The interviewer looks at him incredulously, and replies, "This is a government job! For the first two hours, we just stand around drinking coffee and scratching our balls. No point in you coming in for that!"

Oh...The Humanity!!!!!!

2009-02-11T10:47:00.005-05:00

Oh, the friggin' humanity, the humility, the lack of humility, the downright humiliation of it all...

I'm talking, of course, about the recent "revelation" *snicker* about the use of steroids by A-Rod, and the recent revelation about ex-Met "star" Roberto Alomar allegedly being HIV positive. Although I do question the use of the term "star" after the phrase "ex-Met," because all Mets fans know that Alomar performed in anything but a stellar manner after he became a Met earlier this century...but I digress, as my good buddy Coop would say...

I was going to write about A-Rod, The Steroid Fraud the other day, but the only title I could come up with for the piece was A-Wwwwww Who Cares?, which I tossed around but frankly it didn't move me to write the piece. And then when I heard this morning about Roberto Shallow-Mar, I just thought to myself...oh, the humanity!, and BOOM, there it was!

Anyway, ENOUGH about me and my so-called thought process.

Baseball has really taken a hit lately, hasn't it? Especially New York baseball, and especially the premier organization in New York baseball that outfits its players in pinstripes for every home game since the turn of the century, and probably before(which actually might be very fitting since I believe prison uniforms have some kind of stripes on them, at least in the movies), which organization shall remain nameless. Myself, I've always said I didn't really care about steroid use in baseball, because, frankly, it didn't seem as if anyone in baseball did, since everyone associated with baseball either made ginormous sums of money off the backs of steroids or paid ginormous sums of money to watch these over-medicated players with egos almost as big as their muscles and paychecks even bigger play the game. Which is why I don't. Spend my money on it, that is. Or even make money on it. I use the game strictly for my own entertainment - hence, this blog.

And if the truth be told, frankly, I've always felt that baseball tried to wash its hands of the stink of the steroid scandal, and left the players out there high and dry to absorb the brunt of the public outcry that they, and the game, were "cheated." Gimme a fucking break, already. We ALL participated in the so-called "steroid era" of baseball. We should all take a good look at ourselves and our fandom, and our attitude towards our fandom.

And when are we going to learn, anyway? When are we going to learn that baseball players are no better or worse than people in any other walk of life? Why do we worship them as heroes, and thus set them, and US, up for a huge fall simply because they can hit home runs? Or steal bases? Or strike out 200+ batters per year? This fascination with and worshiping of celebrities in our society has gotten nuts, crazy, whacko, stupid. Perhaps these latest episodes are lessons for all of us.

Just think...it could be worse. We could find out that George Steinbrenner is a cross-dressing transsexual with a fetish for pink painted toenails, or that Brian Cashman is his, uh....ew!!!..... never mind!

Forget The Bill of Rights....

2009-02-04T08:39:00.003-05:00

...how about this "Bill of Goods" Omar Minaya is trying to sell us about the Met offense and one Luis Castillo on the Boomer & Carton show on WFAN this morning??? Anybody else hear it? I'm sure some of you did.

So long story short, heree's what I got from Omar this morning: blah blah blah New York; blah blah playing in New York; blah blah it's hard in New York; blah blah mental; blah blah physical; blah blah it's different in New York; blah blah BLAH BLAH BLAH!!!!!!!!!

As if it were some sort of mantra of excuse for the downright poor play of some (*cough cough Luis Castillo cough cough*) and the just plain stubbornness and failure to finish the job of others (*cough cough Omar Minaya, Fred Wilpon, Jeffy Wilpon cough cough*).... you know what? I'm sick of it already, and the season, much less, spring training, hasn't even begun!

I mean, really, how can these morons think or believe, for even one New York minute, that the team has enough offense? What do they think they're going to get from Carlos Delgado this year, huh? I mean, let's be realistic. The guy is in the twilight of his career, and probably isn't, and hasn't been for some time, suited to the cleanup role he usually occupies in the lineup. And what about the need for a nice, credible right hand bat, which I know, you know, your mother knows, your father knows, your second distant cousin knows, the boyfriend of the girlfriend of your second distant cousin knows the Mets need, and have needed, since the departure of one Xavier Nady in 2006. Don't even try to tell me that since mid-2006, there isn't and hasn't been some right hand bat out there that could fill this need.... unlike some of the delusional Met brass, I don't think most Mets fans are THAT stupid *rolls eyes.*

So Omar, I ain't buying. If you've watched this team over the past two years, you should be very well aware that this team needs and needed not only the bullpen revamping you just pulled off, but it also needs an attitude adjustment, a right handed bat and something at the bottom of the lineup other than the scrap heap of the National League. Look, I'm not saying you gotta get this guy (*cough cough Manny Ramirez cough cough*), but address the issue in some kind of real way, and stop thinking about catching lightning in a bottle with all this crap you throw at us, okay????

So really, gimme a break. Much like the rest of the country, I ain't buying.

The Juice In The Can....

2008-12-05T16:48:00.004-05:00

.....or the continuing saga of one O.J. Simpson. Former football player extraordinnaire, ersatz murderer, now convicted felon.

And my only question is -- what took so long for the justice system to get it right??????

And yeah, Juice, you got 99 problems all right... and "no bitch" is the best it's going to get for you for a long, long time. That is, of course, less'n YOU become somebody's bitch, which would be just about right, in my view.

Just about right.

I Think I'm Going To Be Phucking Philthy Sick....

2008-10-30T10:04:00.003-04:00

And why GREEN vomit, you ask? You even HAVE TO ASK? Why, in honor of the big ol' goofy green head of none other than the Philly Phanatic, who frankly, I'd like to punch in his big fat nose this morning, that's how sick I feel. Sick, from the tippy top of my head to the bottom bottom of my feet. Sick to death of the Phillies and their Phans and their Pharrogance and their everything.

And how stupid does Carlos Beltran look now, after foolishly opening his yap early this past season and pronouncing that the Mets are the "team to beat?" Man, if Carlos was standing right in front of me....I'd slap the shit out of him, too.

Because face it, folks -- the Mets simply have no heart. They have no fight, no get up and go, no drive, no ambition... no nothing.

But if I were the Met organization, based upon what I've been hearing over the past few weeks, and how there's so much hating on the Mets apparently going on all over the league, I'd use it as major motivation for next year. Remember 1986? Yeah, the team EVERYONE, except the fans, hated. And look what happened. I know, we can't compare the two, but I'm just sayin' (as my good buddy Coop often says)....

So I vote that the Met Motto of 2009 be "Bring on the hate!"

As If Mets Fans Need ANOTHER Reason To Be Pissed Off...

2008-10-23T10:22:00.005-04:00

...evidence the career and the success of one Scott Kazmir. Remember him, Mets fans? Now, I know he didn't win the game last night, but that's beside the point.

It really pains me to write this post, because I swore up and down that I would NEVER mention his name again vis a vis the Mets, because, frankly, I am sick and tired of listening to what seems to be every single Mets fan bring up the Kazmir for Zambrano trade ad nauseum as if it were a reason for breathing, or living, or hating, or anything.

But, alas, I find I must, at least once, revisit the trade, because it's so emblematic of what's gone on in past days with the Mets organization. Listening to the wrong people, making snap judgments, trading away the future for the present, and not even doing it smartly, logically, reasonably or in any way intelligently.

It's like the Old Boys Network... literally, which is what Mets fans inevitably end up with. The Old Boys Network.

Hmmm.... come to think of it, that's as fitting of a moniker as anything else for the Mets teams of the past ten years or so. The Old Boys Network.

Perhaps that's what Fred and Jeff should have used as a name for their network.

Well, So Far This Offseason....

2008-10-16T10:58:00.003-04:00

Not much has happened on the Met homefront, but a couple of things are worth noting.

For one, the Phillies have earned the right to play in the Fall Classic, having soundly defeated both the Brewers and the Dodgers. And somehow, seem to still have the Mets and Jose Reyes on the brain. For the life of me, I just don't understand why they continue to need the Mets and Reyes for motivation. Or do they, really? Is there perhaps a tad of reverse psychology in play here? A continuing piss-off factor for the Mets and their fans?

I don't know, but what I DO know is that for the second year, the Phillies have won the NL East, both years overcoming late-season Met leads to do so.

Food for thought.

And here's some food for non-thought - Alex Rodriguez and Madonna. That's a real "ew" in my book, and I suspect in many people's books. Madonna and her hubby, Guy Ritchie, today announced their plans to divorce, and rumor has it that she and A Rod are "closer than ever," whatever that means.

Just another chapter in the continuing saga of A Rod and his weirdness.

I still believe all of these women are A Rod's consolation prizes vis a vis his crush on Derek Jeter, but hey, that's just me!

I'm still wondering what the Met bullpen will look like next year. And whether or not Carlos Delgado will still be a member of the team. God, I hope not. I know many of you will disagree with me, but I think a turnover of the locker room leadership is a necessity at this point. We have to find out if Wright and/or Reyes (probably Wright, as I don't see Jose as a leader type) can be the type of leader the team sorely needs. I'd rather find that out now than later, thank you very much.

I wonder if Luis Castillo has begun packing up in preparation for the move that is undoubtedly going to come.

I wonder if Willie Randolph is still laughing his ass off at the same old late season crappy Met finish. Listen, I was no big fan of Willie's, but at the time he was fired, I said that I did not think that in the end, the problem with the Mets was solely Willie, and that appears to indeed be the case.

I wonder if we're really going to miss Shea Stadium. It's kind of sad to see the pics of the old girl being dismantled, piece by piece.

And I hope wherever that stupid apple is, it gets lost - permanently. Hee, hee hee!

Reflections....

2008-10-09T14:49:00.004-04:00

Now that some time has passed since the Second Annual Met Collapse, I thought I'd share a few of my thoughts, in completely random order.

I was thinking the other day about Carlos Beltran having shot off his mouth about how the Mets were the team to beat in 2008, and I remember saying, at the time, that considering what's happened since he's been here, and his own hand in it all, I thought that his statement was a little ridiculous and a tad premature, especially since the Phillies were the reigning NL East Champions, irregardless of how they laid down and died in the NLDS last year.

So I was just thinking about that, in general, and wondering the identity of the next Met to shoot off his mouth and look like a horse's ass sooner or later.

I was also thinking about how pissed off I am, in general, and more specifically, about Omar's new contract. And maybe even Jerry's. I just can't wrap my head around the retaining of Omar, considering some of the boneheaded things he's done lately, like bringing back Moises Alou, giving Luis Castillo a four-year deal, failing to help the bullpen when others helped theirs, and honestly, because of the collapse the last two years.

Now, I like Jerry Manuel, he's fun, he's hip, he's cool, he wears nifty glasses, and he even seems to have the support of the players, which on this team, is no small feat, I suspect. But he's been around during the past few years, and has been through the collapses, and frankly, I'd like to see the Mets go into a new stadium with a nice fresh start, and some fresh faces.

And here's to hoping Tony Bernazard gets that GM job with Seattle. He seems like a little twerpy blowhard and a control freak, often times rumored to be a "bad guy," and that's the last thing the Mets need is a bad guy. Or another bad guy, as the case may be.

And the more I follow this team, the more I come to realize what shitty owners the Wilpons are. They seem to put image and money before winning, and don't seem to understand that you can have them all. Is it because they're too stupid, or because they just don't care? And does it really matter, if the end result is the same?

I think it was somebody on metsblog.com that had an interesting piece the other day about closers, and how the big money guys aren't necessarily the biggest winners. I've been thinking about the closer and the closer role a lot since Billy Wagner went down, and I think rather than going out and getting one of the big boy closers, if I were the Mets, I might develop one in house. I've always thought that teams could and should develop closers in house more often, and if the Mets have the intelligence and wherewithal to find a guy within their organization who has the stuff and mental makeup to fill the role, well... why not?

I still don't want Delgado here next year. Or Castillo. I want a real left fielder (see below), and a decent bullpen. One that, you know, can get three outs without giving up more runs than outs once in a while.

And Manny can be Manny all he wants... on the New York Mets next year.

I don't want the old apple displayed anywhere prominent in CitiField. It's a relic, and should be relegated to relic status.

I can't lie -- this year really, REALLY stings. Maybe even more than last year. Because we're a team built to win now, and have basically reached the end of the line with some of the players acquired for the purpose of winning, and we've run out of excuses for failing to make the postseason. So now, it's put up or shut up. And I mean that. I don't want to hear any excuses or any other crap from anyone associated with the Mets. I don't want explanations or caveats. I don't want to hear how close we were, and how we "battled."

It's going to be an interesting off-season, I think.

Wake The F*ck Up, Jerry....

2008-10-03T09:31:00.009-04:00

...and sign that deal before they offer it to someone NOT named Jerry Manuel. I mean, really, what does he think he's going to get? Listen, I like Jerry -- he's fun, he's good with the press, he seems to have a decent rapport with the players -- but the bottom line is, face it -- he's no Joe Torre. Or Lou Piniella. Or Terry Francona. Or even Dusty Baker, whom I loathe, for the record.

I thought today it might be fun to speculate on who we Mets fans would hire as manager if we had our druthers. And man, does saying that date me... but anyway, and assuming I can pick anybody I want whether or not it's realistic or feasible or logical, here are some of my choices.

Paul O'Neill, for one. Yes, the hated Met killer Paul O'Neill, who has often said that the single greatest thrill of his career was beating the Mets in the 2000 World Series. That Paul O'Neill, the one who hated, I mean, HATED, making an out. Any out. Any time. Any game. That Paul O'Neill, one of the biggest modern-day gamers I've seen lately.

And right now, he's sitting in the YES broadcast booth/studio, probably scratching his ass, thinking maybe he can still play, maybe he can contribute... and he can. Only I propose he do it for the Mets.

Or maybe Lee Mazzilli. Yeah, I think he's a prick. A dude with a 'tude. A guy who won't give a shit who likes him, or who doesn't. He has that New York kind of arrogance and belief in himself that the Mets sorely lack.

And face it, folks, we gotta get him out of the studio. His strange facial expressions and inappropriate grimaces have led me and DingoMets to nickname him "Yankenstein" in the past, in fact. So it's a win-win; he wakes up the Mets, and we get him and his Yankenstein act out of the studio.

Or how about the first manager by committee team? We can get Jerry, who's fun, gangsta, good with the press, liked by players, to be the kind of fun guy, the press dude, the daddy dude. Then we can put either O'Neill or Mazzilli out there to be the tough guy, the henchman, the straight and narrow guy. And then, maybe we can get Bobby Valentine (yikes! did I just suggest B.V. anywhere near the team? I hated him when he was Mets manager, didn't I? DIDN'T I?) But Deb, hear yourself out. For Bobby V is nothing if not a baseball head, a geek of a sorts, in some ways, an innovator and a maverick, and if we take all three, we have something pretty close to what the Mets need in a manager.

Kind of brings to mind the mythical hydra, the seven-headed monster, and although we've only put faces on three of the heads, I figure that the four extra heads leave room at the top in case anybody really fucks up. Or, if we give Omar Minaya a head and Buck Showalter a head (yep, I'm still on the Show Me Showalter for GM bandwagon), we still have two available heads in case as I said, somebody fucks up...

OR... simply hire one woman, since, after all, the women of the world are used to wearing and juggling so many hats...

I like it, I really like it.

My End Of The Season "Thank You" List...

2008-10-01T13:09:00.009-04:00

...yeah, that's right, you read it right. I actually have some "thank yous" to write despite the disastrous ending to yet another Met season.

And they are, in no particular order:

First, a big thank you to Coop, DingoMets, Joe Janish, Metstradamus, Rickey Henderson, and many others for helping me with the blog, both in the setup, and the contributions. Without all of you, and each of you, it would have been difficult, if not impossible, to get the blog up and running, and continuing it, and you have all been an inspiration and a God-given gift to me. I want you to know how much you are all appreciated.

And to all those who helped, and contributed, and commented, whom I didn't mention, please know that I appreciate each and every one of you, and look forward to every day on the blog, sometimes in spite of what our favorite team is doing at the time. Sometimes because of, but mostly in spite of; at least, this past year!

Second, thank you Gary, Ron and Keith. If it weren't for you three, Mets baseball this past season might have truly been unbearable and unwatchable. Gary, you are a consummate professional, both in your preparation and in your delivery. For my money, there isn't a better play-by-play guy, nor a more informed and prepared one, anywhere. Ron, you are brilliant, simply brilliant, and manage to convey the nuances of pitching and of the game in general without sounding condescending and over-the-head of the average Joe Baseball Watcher. Keith, what can one say about you, Keith? The phrase "I'm Keith Hernandez!" is simply perfect, for you are nothing if not yourself. Your irreverent, comical, down-to-earth, truth-be-told style is constantly refreshing and entertaining, and your slice-of-life relationship with the New York fans is truly a lovefest.

I strongly believe the three of you will be in the broadcaster's wing of the Hall of Fame one day.

Third, thank you to Fernando Tatis, Angel Pagan, Nelson Figueroa and Ryan Church, to name a few, for leaving it all out there. Fernando, you were simply magnificent, and a joy to watch. Angel, we lost you too soon. Nelson, I'll never forget your family piled high above the field at Shea, in Billy Wagner's box in your first start, a truly magical one, cheering you on and bringing back memories of what many of us have felt is the true essence of fandom. Ryan, you were a brave soldier, and gave us much hope for the future.

Fourth, a special thank you to Johan Santana. You truly deserve the Cy Young Award this year, as well as the Met MVP. You are a true ace, a true animal (and I mean that in the best of ways), a true competitor with few equals in this day and age of baseball. I truly look forward to your future as a Met, and hope that you are able to capture the ultimate prize while a member of this team.

And finally, thank you, Shea Stadium. Your past glory will never be forgotten, and my memories of you will live in my heart forever. You will always be great in my book.

And Now, I Bestow The End Of The Season Go Fuck Yourself Award...

2008-09-29T10:40:00.005-04:00

...upon the entire New York Mets organization, top down, everyone, everybody, nobody left out, all of 'em. Fred, Jeffy, Omar, Willie, Jerry, and the whole entire team.

Go fuck yourselves, boys, and I hope you don't enjoy it. Because you fucked us, and as sure as I sit here writing this post, it doesn't feel good, it surely doesn't. And not even Viagra would help the Met fan at this point.

Fred and Jeffy, here's to you. All you two care about, obviously, is the bottom line. You don't really care about winning, and care even less about producing a champion. Your gods are money and more money. In your pockets. You're more worried about Citifield, ticket prices, and your network, and the team is but an afterthought. So, fuck you.

Omar, here's to YOU, buddy. Your nose is so far up Fred's ass that you may as well be part of him; in fact, you probably are. Your fondness for over-the-hill oft-injured has-beens has been duly noted, and if I see Moises Alou so much as within a 30 mile radius of CitiField, your ass is its grass. Same goes for Luis Castillo and Pedro Martinez. But then, you work for a guy who simply cares about revenue, and I suppose there is lots of money to be made by exploiting the fan's fondness for fading stars.

And this here is the flag that ought to be flying proudly and grandly over CitiField next year.

Willie and Jerry, here's to both of you, as well. Willie, ya never should have been hired, and Jerry, ya probably should be fired. I'm sorry to say that in Jerry's case, because I genuinely like him, but I think he's not what this team needs right now.

And a special "fuck you very much" to the entire New York Mets team, with the exception of Johan Santana, who's probably scratching his ass right about now and wondering why the fuck he came here in the first place.

And a very, very special "fuck you" to David Wright and Jose Reyes. Here's what I want from you, boys -- you're now officially the Eli Mannings of pre-2008. In other words, it's time to put up, or shut up. It's time to step up and take the team. It's time to man up. It's time to put your guts, heart, talent and mettle in front of your mouths. It's do or die. It's lead, follow, or get the fuck out of the way.

Fuck you all, fuck you very much. We are all well and truly fucked.

The Party's Over...

2008-09-28T17:09:00.003-04:00

...it's time to call it day, a Shea, another season.

And all I can think to myself right now is, boy, they deserve it, those Mets, but boy, Mets fans sure don't. They surely don't.

I hope the powers that be are paying attention to the last two years. And I hope they are realizing, slowly but surely, that they simply can't bring back the same team next year; that it's time for some serious soul-searching changes to this organization and this team, and that it's time to give Mets fans something to do but shed tears on the last day of the season.

That's it, that's all, I just can't say anymore right now. I think I said it all before, anyway. And taken a lot of heat for it.

And right now, as sure as the sun will come up tomorrow, the Brewers will be playing October baseball, and the Mets will be going home, I wish I was wrong, I really do. Because you, the Met fan, deserve so much more....so much more.

Pussy-Free Zone Yesterday...

2008-09-28T09:24:00.002-04:00

Not much to say except that if we had an Anti-Pussy Award here, Johan Santana would have won it for his performance on Saturday...

The definition of "CLUTCH" in the dictionary has a picture of Johan next to it.

And the Mets are still alive for another day...

"He's Got The Whole World...In His Hands..."

2008-09-27T16:18:00.004-04:00

..."he's got the whole world, in his hands...he's got you and me brother, in his hands...."

And today, Johan Santana has the whole world in his hands. And how appropriate to show the colossal image of the Atlas in Rockefeller Center, New York. Because today, Johan, you are New York's Atlas, having held the fragile hopes of Mets fans in your hands, and on your shoulders, and having brought them to the dawn of a new day.

For those of you who don't know the legend, the myth of Atlas, remember Hercules? Well, one of his Twelve Labors involved the acquisition of some of the golden apples, tended by the Hesperides and guarded by the dragon Ladon. To make a long story short, Hercules went to Atlas, the father of the Hesperides, one of the keepers of the garden, and offered to hold the heavens for a little while in exchange for the apples. Atlas agreed, thinking it would be an easy task since he was, after all, the father of Hesperides. But little did Hercules know that once Atlas got the apples, he intended to try to Hercules into carrying the sky permanently by offering to deliver the apples to their ultimate destination himself. Hercules, suspecting Atlas didn't intend to return again, pretended to agree to Atlas' offer, asking only that Atlas take the sky again for a few minutes so he [Hercules] could rearrange his cloak as padding on his shoulders. When Atlas set down the apples and took the heavens upon his shoulders again, Hercules took the apples and ran away.

Well, the Atlas Santana set down the opposition, not falling prey to Herculean tricks, took the Mets upon his shoulders again, and did not falter...and any day you beat Hercules at his own game, well, you are the man, the Atlas.

And Atlas, contrary to what Ayn Rand wrote, did not shrug, nor did he run away, nor did he refuse to shoulder his burden.

When Atlas Santana kissed the shutout ball and threw it into the crowd, he stood proudly, and strongly, with the world in his hands.

Let's Go Mets. After today, how can one say anything else?

We Now Interrupt Your Regularly Scheduled Programming to Bring You a VERY SPECIAL Big Pussy Pick for the "New" Three-Game Season...

2008-09-26T12:55:00.005-04:00

I was thinking that the BPPOW would be put on hold, you know, cause this is technically the last week of the regular season, but what I read today qualified for a special dispensation to include another round of Big Pussy's Pick for this upcoming "season" against the Marlins.

Now, if you are a Mets fan, but happened to be a.) stuck in a cave with no radio, TV or newspaper access, 2.) given up on the team in the last week or D.) cryogenically frozen and unfrozen during Spring training this week, the Mets collapsed with 17 games to play, with a 7 game lead. That said, the last week was particularly atrocious, dropping six of seven games down the critical stretch, and dropping of course 2 of three to the Marlins, who emulated their lives on being Scooby Doo's nephew, Scrappy -- Let me at 'em, I'll splat 'em!!

Never mind that the Mets were just HORRIBLE in NL East match-ups in 2007. Cripes, I remember so many games against the Marlins and Nationals just thinking, if they could have won just one more game out of those contests (which theoretically they should have been 900-0 in those games), then of course being absolutely owned by the Phillies, that if there was a team that should have taken the division, well, it should not have been the Mets.

We fans though, we watched the games. We went through the collapse, day by day, night after excruciating night. And we saw that even though the last week was painful, none of it would have mattered if the Mets won the games they should have won.

But of course, with our "ace" Tom Glavine not making it out of the first inning, recording only one out, and being on the hook for 7 runs...well, much like Beltran looking at strike three in 2006, that is what everyone remembers. Not the events leading up to that moment, events that should not have occurred in the first place.

Now a few weeks back, you may remember that I called poster-boy for Ritalin Cody Ross "BPPOW" because he is convinced Big Mike Pelfrey threw at him intentionally -- meanwhile, he stands on top of the plate. But boy, the big shit-talkers on the Marlins today...takes the proverbial cake. In fact, I hope that Jerry Manuel tapes this to everyone's locker -- makes sure they read it, and for those who's English isn't too refined, translate it in Spanish.

In the Orlando Sun-Sentinel today, Scotty Olson congratulated himself for his part in the collapse by having NY-style pizza after humiliating the Mets that day (um, he didn't start). Cody Ross, BPPOW winner, also says that "we are the last team they'd want to see."

But the icing on the cake is when former Met Mike Jacobs says, "I don't necessarily think they're worried because of what happened last year...They should be worried because we play them tough. … I wouldn't say we're in their heads, but they know they need to be perfect. If they're not, they're going to have a tough time."

Oh, you done did it this time, Mikey. No, the Marlins and the collapse is not in their heads. The only reason people fucking remember it is because idiots like YOU refuse to let it go. Mind you, save the core of Carloses, Wright and Reyes, new guys who have been integral help this season in Evans, Murphy, and even Church weren't even on the fucking team last year. Oh yeah, we also have a true ace, on the right side of 30, a legit Cy Young candidate each year, who happens to be starting Sunday. So put that in your hairy bagpipe and smoke it, mister.

Olson says in this article that it was fun to hear 55,000 people being so quiet. Yes, he must be used to it, with the 55 people who show up to his starts -- that's 9,945 less than the walk-ups we'd get whenever Pedro pitched in 2005.

Scotty Olson also starts on Sunday. Oh yes, he of his 8-11 record, and 1.33 WHIP. Verrrry intimidating. Hmmm, maybe Johan Santana, after you know waxing his ass in the matchup, will be nice enough to send him a Mama's of Corona's sanguich before booting his ass on the next plane to Miami.

But the piece de resistance on this is the ever-famous quote from the mildly (okay, incredibly) insignificant former Mets catcher Paul LoDuca: "It was not a good memory...And I'm hoping we can make it not good memories for them again this year."

I'm sorry BLODuca...how many games have you played in this year? Do you actually think you are relevant?

I would like to apologize for past wrongs and potentially perceived as future wrongs to the Marlins.

You did your last shit talking of the season. Don't you guys have anything better to do, you know, like makes plans to golf with Grandpa? Cause you know, at least the Mets have something to play, other than being spoiler.

As one of the great sages in modern cinema said in Little Miss Sunshine: "There are two types of people in this world. There are winners. And there are losers." Substitute "Pussy" for "Loser" in that last line, and it still makes sense. Nothing says "Loser" or "Pussy" more to me than trying to deliberately ruining the chances of a team that is destined to make the playoffs.

Yeah, I said it. I'm a winner. Sue me. But on Sunday, when Scott Olson is crying into his Cel-Ray soda, and Mike Jacobs is home changing diapers, and Cody Ross is trying to get Grandpa out of the assisted living facility to play golf on Tuesday...well, I just hope they enjoy the celebrating on the field that is going to occur...

You know...cause we are celebrating the last regular season game at Shea. Of course that's what I meant. *wink, wink*

"Oh, What A Night..."

2008-09-26T09:23:00.003-04:00

...late September, in 2008;
Carlos Beltran stepping to the plate;
What a finish, what a night!

And yes it was, what a night, what a finish... it actually made me think, just for one lovely moment, that the Mets could, they would, they might, they shall....

But today, I don't really know what to feel. All I know is that the great Rickey Henderson is right -- strap in, buckle up, get y'er vomit bags, and get ready for the ride of your life, the last weekend of the 2008 regular baseball season, when anything can, and probably will, happen.

As much as I've maligned, snickered at, pooh-poohed, criticized and genuinely have hated this team this year, if you're a Mets fan, you can't help but to be thrilled to your toes about this weekend, even if perversely. You're either waiting for them to excel and propel, or to flop and drop.

Either way, it's as exciting as hell.

"...I Don't Know How Much More Of This I Can Take..."

2008-09-25T09:35:00.005-04:00

...as I said a couple of days ago in this post.

Honestly, I'm almost at a total loss for words. I think I've said it all, anyway, over the past few years, as I haven't liked the construction or attitude of this team since the day Carlos Beltran stood at home plate with the bat on his shoulders in Game 7 of the 2006 NLCS.

Shoulda told us something.

And by now, I'm sure Johan Santana is strongly questioning why the fuck he came here. This isn't what was represented to him, I'm sure. Hell, it's not even what was represented to the general public.

I feel so flim-flammed, so used, so lied to, so mislead, so conned.

And probably, so does Johan. Only difference is, he gets paid a lot of money to assuage his disappointment.

We don't. Au contraire, we have to SPEND IT, and add insult to injury.

And Omar Minaya gets a four-year contract extension.

Well, whoop-de-fucking-doo!

I don't know how much more of this I can take...shoot, shoot, SHOOT!

And The Big Pussy's Pick of the Week Goes To...

2008-09-24T09:25:00.005-04:00

Mets fans in general. Myself included.

True, this week was a test of our strengths and very fortitude that makes us Mets fans. Losing two out of three to the Braves. Splitting a four-game series with the Nationals earlier. Losing ANOTHER two out of three to the Braves prior that. Etc, etc. Hi-sign. Etc.

And then losing the first out of a four game series (for those of you counting at home -- a three-game losing streak) to the, you know, NL Central champs the Cubs was more than we could bear.

I, myself, claimed on my Facebook homepage that the season was in effect over. O-V-E-R. Real over. I could not even fathom the Mets even taking one game out of the Cubs series (although our ace in the hole with Johan was in the factor), let alone the next three. Not to mention the many stars aligning with a Phillies team that just does not seem to lose this time of the year, plus the Brew Crew (although they have been in a downward spiral), playing the worst of the worst, the Pirates.

And not to mention the state of the team. Barring the odge that the bullpen tends to give us on a nightly basis, even with like a 20-run head start, Luis Castillo seems to loaf during the early years on his contract, David Wright was thought to be "unclutch" and our version of "A-Rod" with "meaningless" stats (you know, like 122 RBIs), then you know, after Carlos Delgado, there's no threat in the line up, therefore he does not see good pitches anymore.

But boy, what one night will do to you. And boy, was I wrong.

It's far from over. Henny Penny, the sky is not falling. As I said last night walking out of the stadium, when there is light, there is still hope. And what's a Mets fan without hope? A Yankees fan (another reason to be happy, being officially mathematically eliminated last night with the Sox win).

So Mets fans, it's not over. This team (unlike 2007) will find ways to win, even those that seem to defy convention. So buck up, pull yourself up by your bootstraps and let's enjoy this race while we can.

You big fucking pussies. And I say that with much love.

"This Is The End..."

2008-09-23T10:41:00.004-04:00

..."beautiful friend; this is the end; my only friend, the end; of our elaborate plans, the end; of everything that stands, the end; no safety or surprise, the end..."

I can't think of anything but these immortal words of the great Doors' classic this morning, folks. I just can't. Last night, what I saw in the Mets dugout, on the field at Shea, and sitting on the bench, was a dejected and defeated team; one that knows it is, indeed, the end...

And I know a lot of you are going to hate me for this, but you know what? I almost hope it is the end; the end of this team as we know it. For there is something fundamentally wrong with the structure, the culture, and the attitude of this team, something not quite right, something that desperately needs fixing. And if the Mets make the postseason, none of that will be addressed, and it will be risky business as usual for the organization next year.

I'm almost hoping this is the end, friends....

"But They Can't Be Wounded, 'Cause They've Got No Heart..."

2008-09-22T09:01:00.006-04:00

....and thank you, Elvis Costello, for giving me the line which spawned the title to this post. They've got no heart, these Mets, they have no clue, these Mets, they send invisible shivers running down my spine, these Mets; I don't know how much more of this I can take, and I'm frankly filing my nails while they're losing the thing...it nearly took a miracle to get them to stay in it, it's only gonna take my little fingers to turn them off.

So much for my Elvis Costello moment. But frankly, the tone and tenor of that wonderful song from which I heavily borrowed the lines of that paragraph feels exactly like what I'm feeling today. Melancholy, a little haunted, a little sad, a little perplexed, and a little frustrated. In fact, I was going to subtitle this post "It's The Bullpen, Stupid!", but I thought that was another overly simplistic statement masquerading for real thought when it comes to this current version of the New York Mets. For it's MORE than the bullpen, folks; it's the total culture of the team, the total failure of the team to pick each other up, the total failure of the team to play like a team on anything approaching a consistent basis.

Just like watching the detectives...only they're NOT so cute, this time!

And I guess the Mets can't beat the Braves unless a pitcher named Perez is starting the game.

I'm starting to think that the Mets have their own version of the "open door" policy -- they open the door for other teams, and the other teams just walk through it.

Just like watching the detectives....shoot, shoot, shoot...I get so angry when the teardrops start, but they can't be wounded, 'cause they've got no heart.

Prove me wrong. Stop leaving so many men on base; stop failing to execute; stop failing to play solid fundamental baseball, and shut that fucking door, already, once and for all.

(He's Got A) Ticket To Ride...

2008-09-18T09:15:00.003-04:00

....and we don't care....that's right, folks, we just don't care, as the old but classic Beatles song goes.

Last night, methinks Aaron Heilman purchased himself a one-way ticket to ride out of New York, doing his usual lousy job out of the bullpen. Fortunately, the offense, for once, was awake, and the Mets were able to outlast the Nationals to capture a much-needed win. As the Phillies continue their winning ways, having now won six games in a row, you just have to wonder, if you're a Mets fan, when, if ever, it's going to stop.

Despite my personal dislike for Mike Francesa's on air personality, I was listening to him yesterday afternoon, like I always do, since I put WFAN on in the morning, and it stays on all day. Anyway, as much as I dislike him, he did say a few things about the Mets that I totally agree with. The first being that you have to construct your lineup, at this point, with Reyes one, Beltran two, and Wright three. I've always felt that Beltran is a two hitter; his mental makeup and execution have shown that, over the years, and that Wright, despite his recent struggles, is still the best overall hitter on the team, so he belongs in the three hole.

He also said that if the Mets tank again this year, they need to "re-examine" their core. And I could not agree more. The core of this team has had three years to prove its mettle, and has thus far come up way short, despite the raw talent contained in the bunch. You just have to wonder if these guys are capable of putting the petal to the metal when the chips are down. If they aren't, then it's time to rethink the construction of the team core, and that includes the guys making the decisions.

It might be time to clean house, and start anew.

We'll have to see.

In the meantime, the blog name stays as altered.

Until Further Notice....

2008-09-17T08:51:00.004-04:00

...the new, renamed blog shall remain renamed.

The truth, however badly it hurts, is eminently preferable to writing puffed up rah rah pieces with little or no basis in reality, attempting to dig into the depths of the mire hoping to find some shred of something upon which to hang our hopes for this hapless franchise.

This year, is last year, is next year, if they don't wise up.

And if you think tonight's going to be any better, I have two words for you - Brandon Knight.

Wah, Wah, Mike Francesa...

2008-09-16T14:38:00.003-04:00

...wah, wah, wah. Mike Francesa just spent the better part of the last half hour, at least, whining and wah-wah'ing about the unfair treatment he believes he's received in the press about the breakup of the M&MD Show on WFAN. Mostly, what was revealed to me in this wah-wah'ing is (a) Mike's ego knows no bounds; (b) he's very hurt by the whole thing; and (c) he's probably turned off at least half of his audience, who will probably return the favor and turn HIM off, as well.

Face it, Francesa, your nastiness has now come back to bite you in your rather substantial butt. People actually LIKED Dog, and that just kills you, doesn't it? It's not enough for you to be successful in your ventures, which you obviously are (and don't hesitate to remind us), but you want to be liked, admired, and loved by your fans. Just because you're you. I never thought I'd say this to you, but grow up, and take it on the chin.

Now maybe you know what it feels like to be a part of the New York media circus. Certainly, you've dished out your share of it. Man up, shut up, and take it. It's well earned, in my opinion.

And therefore, Mike Francesa, I nominate you as the first candidate for this Friday's Go Fuck Yourself Award. Hmmmm... we shall see. Considering the state of the Mets these days, there look to be many worthy contenders for the award this week...On the bright side, if he doesn't win the Friday GFYA, there's always Coop's BPPOTW award next Tuesday!

Of course, all of this brings me to last night's debaucle in our nation's capitol. You know, the one where a team resembling last year's Mets played the Washington Nationals. Yeah, that game, where the offense continued its pathetic ways against John Cy Young Lannan; Pedro Martinez continued to prove why he should not be let anywhere near Citifield next year; and the Mets continue to prove to their fans why no lead is safe and serve up a nice shiny new example, every night, of why many fans have very simply lost their confidence in this team.

And the Big Pussy's Pick of the Week Goes To...

2008-09-16T06:50:00.004-04:00

That collective noise you hear from the lakes region is one of "WAAAAAAAAAHHHHH!!"

This week, the BPPOW goes to that team in the midwest that makes the Mets handling of the 2007 "collapse" and subsequent firing of Willie Randolph overnight on the West Coast look like a lesson in professionalism -- the Milwaukee Brewers!!!

For the past two seasons, the "buzz" in baseball fan land is that the Brew Crew are gonna be a tough team to beat. With young talent like Ryan Braun, Corey Hart and Prince Fielder leading the way, plus Ben Sheets and Jeff Suppan anchoring the rotation, you'd think this team is gonna give you a hard time.

So when the Mets went into town and swept them (without having to face the pitcher that has basically dominated the National League since he came over, C.C. Sabathia), of course, it had to with the fact that the Mets were superior and the Brew Crew were not all they were cracked up to be.

Until last weekend, when NL East arch rivals the Phillies came in and did the same exact thing.

This time, the sweep had many implications for all teams involved. One was that the Mets magic number could potentially go down without even having to win a game. Of course we should all know we can't rely on that happening when it comes to the Phillies (See: 2007 and the whole month of September).

Two was that the Phillies would gain ground on the Wild Card race and the Brewers would lose ground. You'd think that would be motivation enough for the Brewers to bring their A-game, right?

But yes, the Mets would certainly sweep the Braves (and would have, had it not been for that pesky bullpen) and send Larry Jones home teary-eyed in the place he named his son after. And we wouldn't need to pay attention to the Phillies/Brewers outcome, right?

Right?

No, alas, the Brewers took it one step further. Not only did they get swept into oblivion, the Wild Card race is tied...and now, the Mets can't seem to buy a run against the Nationals. Yes you read that right. The Nationals. The last scene I watched was David Wright killing a potential rally in the 8th inning. I am going on Mets sabbatical for the rest of this week because of it.

Oh yeah, and the Brewers fired their manager Ned Yost 13 games into the month...with 12 games left. In the middle of the pennant race.

Now, the irony of it is...the Brewers have had it a lot worse than the Mets did. Okay, so going through the "collapse" as fans...that was rough. And I mean, I went to Milwaukee last year and their fans are happy for effort (could you imagine that in New York?)...so I doubt their fans even really noticed. But there was one point in 2007 when the Brewers were up something like 8.5 games...and I guess because a.) they don't play in New York where everything is amplified and b.) it was in the middle of the season and not at the very last day of the season, Yost was left off the hook.

But there were also rumblings that Yost had lost his team. Shit, when I was there, Johnny Estrada and Yost fought in the tubes of the dugout. They came out and said everything was "all right." But when the dugout erupted again in August of this year...that should have been a sign. THINGS ARE NOT ALL RIGHT IN THE LAND OF BRATS BEER AND CHEESE.

But if there was a time to fire Ned Yost, it would have been last year.

So will the Brewers make the playoffs? I don't know. I almost hope not. It gives the Mets a chance to win either the division or the Wild Card.

I'd like to spank the Phils though in the division. That's just me.

So congratulations Brew Crew...you've made the Mets actually look professional. Aw right! Now let's see if Dale Sveum (???) can right that ship!

The MONDAY Go Fuck Yourself Award....

2008-09-15T10:52:00.003-04:00

....yeah, yeah, I know, it's the FRIDAY Go Fuck Yourself Award, but perhaps I gave the award away waaaaayyyyy too hastily, although heaven knows Friday's two recipients were eminently well qualified to receive it. Or should I say, well UN-qualified, in the case of one of the recipients.

But today, I simply have to give another award to the New York Mets bullpen, who, in case you don't know by now, blew two leads of more than one run going into the top of the ninth inning over this past weekend, against none other than the Atlanta Braves, who I guess are still driving the Mets and their fans crazy...after all these years. Still crazy, after all these years... *sigh.* Paul Simon, enter and sign in, please....

The off-again on-again Met offense certainly doesn't help the bullpen situation, either. It just seems to me as if this team still believes it can turn it off and on at will, measures itself and its performance accordingly, and might have learned the sum total of NOTHING from last year's historic collapse. The amount of men left on base is staggering, as is the amount of blown offensive opportunities, and lack of fundamental execution of late on the part of the offense. And the amount of inning-killing double plays they are suddenly hitting into.

And I want to know, seriously, why the Mets consistenly fail to execute offensively, and continuously blow leads in Santana-started games. I mean, disproportionately to the leads blown in games started by anyone other than Johan Santana. I see lots of folks out there who believe that Santana will be the difference between what happened last year, and what will happen this year, but honestly, after Saturday's game, and in view of the team's propensity for blowing leads in his games, I'm just not sure I agree with that at all.

And I'm plenty pissed that the staggeringly poor performance of the Met bullpen this weekend forced me into having to award the Go Fuck Yourself Award out of turn. That's how BAD they were.

And I had a lot of other stuff about which I wanted to write today, but I just can't, because the Met bullpen encroached on otherwise fertile writing territory.

So, boys, a hearty and hale go fuck yourselves to ya. Thanks for singlehandedly ruining the weekend of every Met fan out there. Thanks for nothing.

The Friday Go Fuck Yourself Award...

2008-09-12T09:31:00.011-04:00

Well, folks, I had a really hard time deciding upon whom to bestow this week's honor, considering how fucked up things are these days, in just about every walk of life. Well, on second thought, make that in EVERY walk of life.

So, I have decided that this week it's a tie between *drum roll* *drum roll* *drum roll*....none other than The New York Yankess and Sarah Palin.

You all know my deep and abiding loathing for The Franchise, a/k/a The New York Yankees. Everything the Yankees does seems to be gargantuan. They play in "The Cathedral" *roll eyes." They refer to "The Cathedral" as "The Stadium," as if everyone just KNOWS "The Stadium" must mean, you know, THE STADIUM, YANKEE STADIUM, THE PLACE WHERE THE YANKEES PLAY.

Yawn, yuck, barf and hurl. For this week, the Yankees allowed The Angels, who perennially give The Yankees a good and solid whuppin', reason alone to be a fan of theirs, to clinch the AL West while playing them.

But of course, the best part of the whole Yankee deal this year is having the ability to say The Fouth Place Yankees, Who Are All But Mathematically Eliminated From The Playoffs This Year, and have it be MORE than a pipe dream.

So Yankees, take your Cathedral, The Stadium, your pinstriped candyasses, your A-Rod, your Dreck Jeter, your fan base, and Michael Kay... and kindly Go Fuck Yourself.

There now, I feel better.

Now, onto my next pick, Sarah Palin. If I even have to explain this one, especially in light of her brandidy new interview with Charlie Gibson of WABC, then you're either trying to get your head out of the ass it's buried in, or you're on another planet. Or you're on this planet, and actually embrace the right wing garbage she so eagerly, if not well and efficiently, spouts.

I hope the Bush Doctrine spot will be used and used and used and overused by the media until every single person in America has seen it, and gets it.

And perhaps she believes that we should believe that she knows something, please, God, ANYTHING, about foreign policy because, after all, Alaska is "so close" to Russia. I'm not even going to get into her comments about Russia, and Georgia (fortunately, she at least knew the "Georgia" about which she was speaking was the one in Asia, and not in North America, thank goodness).

The woman is as qualified to be Vice President (let alone President), as Osama bin Laden is to be head of the United Nations, Jose Canseco is to be spokesperson for ethical behavior in sports, or your local science teacher is to be head of NASA.

And John McCain IS, after all, 72 years old, and has known health issues, including a history of cancer.

So Sarah, go fuck yourself -- if you can't even manage to come off as intelligent, informed, prepared and coherent in an interview with the mild-mannered pro-Republican Charlie Gibson, let alone the rest of the press, well.... as I said, go fuck yourself, and take your idiot politics with you.

Guess ol' Charlie The Republican is as worried about the direction of the party as are the Democrats.

And finally, enjoy this little tidbit from George's Blog. How's THAT for weekend food for thought?

NEWS FLASH: Angels Clinch AL West With Win Over Yankees...

2008-09-11T09:00:00.005-04:00

...and will miracles never cease?!!!! How fitting is it that the California Angels, always a perennial pain in the ass to the New York Yankees, clinch the division last night with a win over the floundering Yankees. That, capped with the Met win last night and the Philly loss, is what you call, for Mets fans, a perfect day.

As some have been known to say on occasion, hallelujah!

And anybody else notice HOW QUIET YANKEE FANS HAVE GOTTEN? Miracle number two, and counting...

Here's something else I noticed over this past season, and over the last few days in particular. And that's that I never understood what people saw in Lastings Milledge, and after watching his play this past season, I'm even more convinced that the New York Mets definitely got the better of the trade in the persons of Ryan Church and Brian Schneider. So, chalk up another one for Omar. LMillz looked horrible in the outfield, looked as if he had little clue what to do out there, and didn't exactly set the stadium on fire at the plate. Unseasoned? Maybe. Needs more major league experience? Maybe. But from where I sit, he looks like really raw material with the baseball instincts of, say, Jay Payton *snicker*, and frankly, I'm glad he's gone.

In other news, Aaron Heilman continues to stink up the joint. Not that he didn't have company last night in stinking up the joint, pitching wise, but he, already on thin ice with Jerry Manuel, probably didn't help himself thicken the ice any with last night's performance, if you can call it that.

I think at this point, the best place of Aaron Heilman next year is ABNY, which of course, is Anywhere But New York. It's best for him, best for the Mets, best for everyone concerned. It's clear that for whatever reason, he ain't gonna make it here.

And all those extra batting practice sessions and "talks" with Jerry Manuel seem to be working for David Wright, who is resurging offensively, thank goodness. It was getting very tiresome watching him strike out, fly out, ground out, and otherwise make an out at the plate over the past month or so.

And anybody notice the common thread in most of this Mets stuff? I'll give you a hint - JM. And that doesn't stand for Junior Mints......!!!!! Still can't figure it out? Of COURSE you can; the common thread in all of this is very simply the person of Jerry Manuel. With his sense of humor, sense of the absurd, common sense approach to the game, rapport with the players (least of which is the formerly inept Carlos Delgado), ease with the press and fans, and undeniable success with this team since he took over from the hapless Willie Randolph (Willie who?), Jerry Manuel has certainly earned the job as Mets manager for at least next year, if not beyond.

Very simply put, if anyone out there thinks the Mets would be where they are if Willie Who was still at the helm, I invite you to contact me with regard to buying a bridge I've been trying to sell...!!!

And The Big Pussy Pick of the Week Goes To...

2008-09-09T21:39:00.005-04:00

Someone probably no one (including me) expected me to ever give this award to.

Oliver Perez.

Now, I have to admit that Ollie P was worth his weight in gold during the big games. But in games like tonight, against the NATIONALS, who were scoring left and right off him...it not only brought back shades of last September (umm, let's not go there right now, Carlos Delgado just hit two home runs, let's keep it light), but that Ollie seems like the Yankees (a team of pussies, but that's besides the point)...

When it's not a big game, he doesn't show up, physically or mentally.

Every one in Metsopotamia knows my adoration for Oliver Perez, or Oh Pea as I call him. It's legendary, as I mentioned on Mets Weekly a few weeks back. In fact, I would even go so far to say that up until a few weeks ago, I thought he pretty much was over the hump. You think, it's his walk year, he's playing for a contract, he has Boras whispering in his ear, he's gonna be on his game.

And he shows up...for games against the Phillies. Games against the Yankees. Those where he will be on the proverbial "big stage."

That's great. I love that Ollie. Can that Oliver "Dr. Jekyll" Perez stay? And can Ollie "Hyde" Perez go bye bye?

When he can't keep a lead against the NATIONALS, a bunch of "softball girls" as Nelson Figueroa said last year, we're in trouble.

So here's a big FUCK YOU OLLIE. I'm through with you. I'll be laughing when your ERA is 8.99 at the Ballpark in Arlington when the Rangers are the only team dumb enough to cave into your demands, you big fuckin pussy.

"The Sun Has Been There For 500, 600 Years"....

2008-09-09T09:40:00.004-04:00

...former Mets outfielder Mike Cameron, after former teammate Carlos Beltran lost a ball in the sun during a game against the Dodgers...

Yeah, I know, I have a place for stupid stuff on this here blog, but that one was just too good to relegate to subprime status. Because, well, you know, one of the things that I think is important in a player is his innate intelligence, which in turn, gives him the ability to contemplate, absorb, educate and teach himself about the game of baseball, how to best play it, how to apply his particular gifts and talents to it, and how to grow as a player and a teammate.

All of those things is kind of why I'm glad we don't have players like Jay Payton or Mike Cameron on the team anymore. In my view, they're both the kind of dumbass stunad throwback type of players we just don't need anymore.

And you know who else is kind of like that? Billy Wagner. I know, I shouldn't heap on a guy who's got a serious and perhaps career-ending injury, but I honestly have to say that maybe the loss of Wagner is a blessing in disguise for the Mets. Why, you ask? Why, especially when the bullpen this year consists of little but guys who can somehow be jury-rigged together with a little hope and some crossed fingers, praying that we somehow get to the end of the game with the lead still intact? Well, because I think the team has outgrown Wags, and I'd like to see a closer developed from within.

*Gasp!*, say you? And who might that be? Well, I submit that with the plethora of young arms that we have, all of those plethora probably dying to get a shot in the major leagues, we can find and develop from within, save a ton of money, and use the money saved for a QUALITY second baseman (if we can dump Castillo, somehow, that is), upgrade first base (more later), and add to the outfield and bench depth.

I'm not a huge believer in "The Closer," anyway. If you look around both leagues, there's no more than a handful of guys that you'd want to close your games, and even out of those, there's no more than one or two that you can really trust, day in and day out. I've said for a long time that it might be time to rethink the closer role, which came into prominence with the advent of the Mariano Rivera Era, but there is only one Mariano, and other closers have had a terrible time trying to live up to his standards. In fact, none has. Especially NOT Billy Wagner. And especially NOT Billy Wagner in big situations.

And it's all back to that intelligence thingy again. I think there is enough intelligence on the Mets, and in the organization, and especially in the head of Jerry Manuel, that they have the ability to think outside the box, and come up with a solution to the closer problem. And I really think that there is someone in the organization that will step up and truly give his all to fill the role.

In other news, the Mets have announced that the old apple will not survive Shea Stadium. And may I say, two thumbs up to the Mets' organization for that one. It's time Mets fans moved on and forward. The apple will, I'm sure, take its place in Mets folklore and nostalgically live on for the fans who love it. But we are moving forward, and sometimes, when moving forward, some old friends have to be left behind.

And one more thing - Pedro Martinez. Based upon what I've seen for the last month or so, I'm wondering if he were anyone BUT Pedro Martinez, if he'd make the postseason roster, assuming the Mets actually get there. My gut reaction is that he wouldn't. And I'm thinking, maybe he shouldn't. But will he? Can he really contribute in the postseason? A roster spot in the postseason is a very valuable one, not to be taken or assigned lightly.

And one more thing. So sue me, I lied about the last thing being one more thing. Carlos Delgado, and first base. I'm thinking that it might be time to move on with first base, as well. Sometimes, it's not so much a matter of options as it is a conscious decision to go in a certain direction. And for my money (and the Mets' money), based upon what I've seen of the manner of play in baseball vis a vis veterans and youngsters, I'm thinking that if I'm the Mets, I'm developing my young talent. No offense to Carlos, who's made a miraculous if not somewhat expected turnaround this past half year (he is up for contract extension, and all), but I'm going to develop or acquire a much younger guy at first base for next year. With the solidity of Reyes and Wright in the infield, the steadying influence of Carlos Beltran in the outfield, the solid and reliable Johan Santana as a part of the pitching staff, the Mets certainly have more than enough veteran leadership.

I say, cut Carlos loose.

We (Mets Fans) Hold These Truths To Be Self-Evident...

2008-09-07T17:06:00.004-04:00

...that all ~~over-the-hill can't-throw-anymore crusty-old-and-I-do-mean-old-veteran-should-be-put-out-to-pasture-picked-off-the-scrap-heap-pitchers~~ men are created equal.

Ugh.

Stranger in Paradise, And Some Shit That Still Pisses Me Off...

2008-09-04T09:13:00.005-04:00

...hey, Mets fans, remember this guy? Just who IS that Stranger in Paradise? Well, rumor has it that he's been throwing off the mound and making progress in returning to the Met bullpen.

If that's not enough of a hint, try these: he likes farm animals; he speaks with an annoying southern flavor and twang; and finally, for the past few years, he's been blowing saves in important games for the Mets.

And NO, it's not Armando Benitez, wise guys!

Of course, I'm speaking of the pictured Billy Wagner, none other. And as I'm reading today about his "progress," I'm really wondering to myself that, if he's ready for the postseason (assuming the Mets make it, of course), how much confidence I'll really have in Billy Boy. While it's undeniable that despite its recent successes, the Met bullpen is in dire need of a rags-to-riches level makeover, I just wonder how much Mets fans think they can count on Billy to save the "big games."

From what I've seen of him as a Met, I'd have to say that while he's better than our current alternatives, that's like saying a punch in the nose is better than a punch in the stomach. Or something like that.

The Mets are fresh off a sweep of one of the better NL teams, the Milwaukee Brewers, that featured timely hitting, good bullpen work, and mostly good starting pitching, with the exception of wookie Jon Niese, whom I think was just mostly nervous, pitching in front of a huge unfriendly crowd with what looked to be every single member of his immediate family, extended family, neighbors, and anybody who's ever heard of him present at Miller Park. I think Jon will be fine, but I think he's seen his last start in The Show this year.

Questions remain about Pedro Martinez, but then, questions always remain about and around Pedro Martinez. His health has always been fragile, and any team that thinks they are going to get a start from Pedro every five days for the entire season has been drinking the Republican Kool-Aid, but that's for another post. The Republican Kool-Aid, that is.

And finally, some shit that still pisses me off, even after all my years on the internet. You wanna know what it is? OK, I'm going to tell you. You dragged it out of me. You forced me into it. What really still pisses me off is idiots on the 'net that have the courage to post as "anonymous," that feel the need to correct every single little faux pas that any message board poster, blogger or commenter makes. You know the type I'm talking about; the ones that can't resist pointing out every spelling error, every misuse of context, every grammatical miscue; the ones that can't stop themselves from hiding behind their 'net anonymity (both a curse and gift to mankind, imo), and not-so-bravely feel the need to assert their perceived superiority, their powers of observation, their advanced intelligence and their munificent egos pointing out the little foiables (notice I've liked that word lately?) of their fellow 'netters, most of whom are actually contributing something to either a message board, blog, website, or whatever.

These little gnats are much like their namesakes -- almost invisible, tiny pieces of annoying waste, who seem to exist for little purpose other than annoying every other form of life in the universe.

Thhhhhbbbbbbbpppppttttttttt.........

And The Big Pussy's Pick of the Week Goes To...

2008-09-02T20:47:00.008-04:00

Two non-Mets!!

See it's tough to get on the case of the Mets these days, especially those who my wrath was usually reserved for (*cough cough* Delgado *cough cough* Heilman). When all is well, see, it's tough to call your team for being pussies. Although there is a lot of baseball to be played...

This week's pick is a tie between Jimmy Rollins from the Phillies and Cody Ross of the Marlins!

(and the crowd goes wild!)

Okay, it should be no surprise that Jimmy Rollins makes this list. I mean, he would have eventually. Just last week, in the heat of the Mets blowing a 7-run lead and losing 8-7 to heated rivals the Phils, Jimmy Rollins had the audacity to make a comment about the celebrations in the Mets dugout, which by the way wouldn't even be a big deal if it wasn't for fucking pussies like Jimmy Rollins and Shane Victorino pointing them out. Here's an idea: DON'T LOOK IN THE DUGOUT. Anyway, here is the most delicious quote: "We don’t talk about celebrations, we just notice them. Nobody in particular. The whole team, you know."

Here is the loose translation I have here:

"We don't talk about celebrations." **I'll just bitch it out to the media instead**

"We just notice them." **How come they have all the fun?**

"Nobody in particular." **Jose Reyes - and why does he get all the recognition? It's not like he won MVP last year after running off his mouth, backing it up, and for an encore, loses three straight in the gift-wrapped postseason, AND hits .269 with 38 stolen bases on the year so far? How come I can't hit .308?**

"the whole team, you know?" **we have the wrong Manuel on our side**

And the funny thing is -- well, karma is just such a bitch. Not only does CoreyNYC over at Metsie find some good ol' fashioned blackmail photos of, hmm, something that vaguely looks like a celebration after getting on base or something, Aramis Ramirez hits a GRAND SLAM in a game that should have been a gimme for the Phils.

Yes, the NL East will be a fun race to watch, but seeing the Phils take it in the pooper with a real solid team outside of the East...well, that's just karma turning its lovely head.

OK now for Cody Ross. This douchebag deserved to get called out weeks ago, when at a game, he got drilled by a pitch by Mike "Big Pelf" Pelfrey, he played dead for a minute, then got up, fake charged the mound, and took his base. But things got interesting last Saturday night, when Ross got hit again, and starting sounding off on Pelf. Of course, he started sounding off when there were about five players separating the two.

Oh and Ross called Pelfrey a "little pussy."

You can't call Pelf a pussy! Only we can call Pelf that!!

But starting a fight with Pelf...hmmm, that is just wrong on so many levels. Ross is 5'9", 203 lbs. Big Pelf is 6'7", 230. No contest.

But the best part of this whole thing is that Pelf backs his shit up (you go, Pelf!) and says he did Ross a "favor" by hitting him with a pitch when he was up on the count 0-2. To which Ross said, you'd think he was 3-0 against us, not 0-3. OK, that's part is true, and while Ross has some pretty decent stats against Pelf (3-for-9 lifetime, 3 RBIs, etc), his overall stats, well, they suck ass. OK, maybe a little respectable with .260/.318/.496 and an .814 OPS. But we all know that Pelf's record against the Fish is an anomaly, and mark the Coop's words here --

Pelf will pitch the first ever Mets no-hitter against the Marlins. And his last out will be Cody Ross. (Hey, I didn't say perfect game...)

You heard it here first folks.

Look, this is a standard rule of thumb -- if there's a dude, a big dude, who is throwing something 90 mph at you, and he's a good FOOT taller than you are...don't start shit.

Fuckin' pussy.

So that's the goods for this week folks. Join me over at My Summer Family and Mets Divas and Dykstraw for some lively entertainment!

Fat Tuesday....

2008-09-02T09:52:00.011-04:00

....now, I know it really isn't Fat Tuesday, not THAT Fat Tuesday, the one that kicks off Mardi Gras, but today really is kind of a Fat Tuesday of a sorts, the Mets having restored their lead in the NL East to a full two games over the Phillies by virtue of some nice long weekend ball, so I'm really pretty fat and happy today, as I'm sure is Carlos Delgado.

You all know that I have little love for the guy, let's be honest here. I've been down on him since Opening Day, 2007. And even with his recent surge and exploits, I've been this way/that way about heaping too many accolades on him, wanting to see more, not trusting the short-term success he's had. And you know what? I STILL want to see more, but the more I see, the more I think he really HAS turned some kind of personal corner. He seems more determined and focused than I've ever seen him as a Met, and even seems to be relishing his positive leadership role on the team, something I've not seen in him as a Met.

I'd be lying if I said I still didn't have doubts. But slowly, they are being assuaged by Carlos' success at the plate, defensive performance, attitude and team leadership. And if these continue, well.... we'll see about next year, and bringing him back.

Another reason I'm feeling fat and happy this Tuesday is, well, you guess! That's right, folks, the season-long misfortunes, misplays, miscues, and misdeeds of none other than the New York Yankees. As of this writing, they're seven games behind the Red Sox for the wild card spot in the AL, and it is looking more and more as if we will not be seeing the Yankee pinstripes in the postseason this year. You can just about stick the proverbial fork in 'em.... kinda like the one pictured, just for you Yankee fans.

I've been hoping for this turn of events for many, many years now....and it appears to finally be close to becoming a reality.

And finally, how about that McCain VP pick, huh? Will the Republicans never learn? People who live in glass, or in this case, ice houses, should never, ever, throw stones. And I loved Mr. and Mrs. Palin's statement upon disclosing the five-month
pregnancy of their 17-year-old unmarried daughter, Bristol, which in part, says that they are proud of "her decision" to have the baby.

That's right, "her decision." She had a CHOICE. Something the Republicans want to take away from you, me, and everyone. You see, Bristol Palin CHOSE to have her baby. Which, think about it, is the whole point. The right to CHOOSE. She chose to give life, which is an admirable choice, and one of which she should be proud. But she had the choice.

Food for thought.

Take THAT, JRo........

2008-08-29T08:52:00.005-04:00

...a lovely sight at Wrigley Field in Chicago, where the Cubs stage a dramatic late-innings comeback to beat the Phillies, a/k/a "Jimmy Rollins & The Whiners."

So, take THAT, JRo. Am I going to hear you spouting off about the Chicago Cubs and their "celebrations?" And as CoreyNYC so eloquently put it on his blog yesterday... take THAT, and THAT... and even THAT!

And as for the Yankee win yesterday, well, I think the kitty picture says it all!

And one more thing, in this whole anti-New York prejudice vein thingy, and that's this: the other evening at Citizens Bank Ballpark in The City of Brotherly Love, when the young Philly fan fell out of the stands onto the field during batting practice, notice, my friends, that he was comforted by none other than the New York Mets players. About four or five of 'em. Now, I know the Mets were on the field at the time, but interestingly, the Today show played a tape of the incident in question, which showed the aftermath of the fall, and nowhere during the approximate minute or so after the fall did anything remotely resembling a Philadelphia policeman, team trainer, manager or player appear. What, they all have broken legs? They can't see?

As The Coop says... just sayin', just sayin'. This is stuff for some reason you never see in many media outlets; sometimes, it seems the only stuff you see in the media regarding New York, New Yorkers, New York sports, and the like is the negative stuff. It's as if New Yorkers aren't capable of any good, and everyone outside New York is remarkably wonderful. Now, we all know that neither of these two extremes is accurate, but there ya go.

This Is Del-Bugging Me.....

2008-08-28T10:39:00.003-04:00

...I'll TELL YOU what's Del-bugging me... Mets fans and their recent lovefest with Carlos Delgado.

Look, I'm as happy as the next guy/gal that Carlos has suddenly found it within him to turn things around this half, and make a huge impact upon the fortunes of the Mets. Sure, he looks rejuvinated, energetic, focused, whatever you want to call it. Without him in the second half, unarguably the Mets would not be where they are; I certainly agree with that.

But I cannot forget the dog years of 2007 and the first half of 2008. Maybe one can chalk up Carlos Del-Dogging it in 2007 due to lingering affects of an injury; MAYBE, but there is the first half of 2008, and Carlos' known dislike of Willie Randolph, which many speculate had at least some bearing upon Carlos' poor performance in 2007/2008. So let me get this straight -- we're just supposed to forget that Del-Doggo basically phoned it in for a year and a half? And now we're all supposed to jump on the Bring Delgado Back Bandwagon?

You know, fans have very short memories. And while I'm thrilled at the resurgence of Delgado, the bad taste I have in my mouth for him lingers, and because of it, I'm very cautious about singing his praises too loudly. Or making a premature commitment to him for next year. Not just yet.

Friends, Bloggers, Countrymen....

2008-08-28T09:07:00.011-04:00

....lend me your eyes.
For I come here to BURY the Yankees, not to praise them.
Certainly not to praise them.
For the evil that the Yankees have done lives after them;
The good is interred with their bones.
So let it be with the Yankees.
The noble Mets fans hath told you the Yankees were ambitious;
If it is so, it is a grievous fault,
And grievously hath the Yankees answered for it.
Here, under leave of Mets fans and the rest --
For Mets fans are honorable folks;
So are they all, all honorable folks --
Come I to speak at the Yankees' funeral.
While they may have been friends to some,
Faithful and just to some,
But Mets fans say they were ambitious;
And Mets fans are honorable men and women.
They hath brought many fans to baseball;
Whose ransoms did the MLB coffers fill:
Did this in the Yankees seem ambitious?
When that the other teams have cried, the Yankees hath laughed:
Ambition should be made of sterner stuff:
Yet Mets fans say they were ambitious;
And Mets Fans are honorable folks.
You all did see that in the 1990s,
Many times they were presented a World Series ring,
Which they took as their due: oh, that ambition!
Mets fans say they were ambitious,
And, sure, Mets fans are honorable folks (and smart, too).
I speak to prove what Mets fans spoke,
I am here to speak what I do know.
Many did love them once, without cause:
But what cause holds you then, as Mets fans, to mourn for them?
(What, are you NUTS?)
O judgment! Thou art fled to the beasts of Yankee Stadium;
And Mets fans have not lost their reason. Bear with me;
Yankees fans hearts are in the coffin there with the Yankees,
And they must till it come back to them.

R.I.P. New York Yankees 8/27/08

About Last Night (Schneider and J Ro)....

2008-08-27T14:06:00.005-04:00

...so, did any of you listen to Brian Schneider's regular Tuesday lunchtime spot on WFAN today, with Steve Somers subbing for Joe and Evan? I gotta give Steve credit, he hit Schneider pretty hard with his comments about the long hop/short hop ball from Easley he missed. Now, I usually have no problem with Schneider, but he really seemed to get his balls in kind of an uproar over Steve's remarks, and stated that the play was by no means an easy or routine one, and although he didn't offer an excuse, per se, he didn't really take responsibility for it either.

Steve further went on to question Schneider about whether he and Pedro had trouble communicating, to which Schneider replied that "Pedro took full responsibility" or was it, "blame," for whatever happened.

It seemed to me as if Schneider wanted to say a lot more about last night, and almost did...but ultimately didn't.

Honestly, for whatever reason, Schneider's tone really annoyed me today. I felt as if he were reluctant to take his share of responsibility for last night's...debaucle, and I got the distinct feeling that some people in the Mets clubhouse are not very happy with others about last night...

Something also tells me that Schneider might not continue to be a regular on WFAN every Tuesday afternoon were the regular host a guy named Steve Somers.

As for J Ro, according to Mets Blog, he's mouthing off again about the Mets, and how they motivate him.... Honestly, between Schneider on the FAN today and J Ro's comments, I'm not sure whom I want to give a nice, swift kick to more.

Perhaps, as the image suggests, we should just leave the whole thing up to the Met pitchers.

MoFo, MoFo, MoFo....

2008-08-27T10:08:00.007-04:00

.... no mojo, just MoFo. The MoFo Mets continue giving their fans the rollercoaster ride of their lives by blowing a perfectly good seven-run lead last night in Philadelphia, with Pedro Martinez in the lead car, followed by the "Offense Has Done Quite Enough It Its Own Opinion, Thank You" car, and the "Bullpen Sucks Almost As Much As The Yankees Do" car bringing up the rear.

Honestly, this year is as head-scratching and frustrating in a way that last year wasn't. Face it, folks... compared to the agony and the ecstasy that is the up and down of this year, last year we had it easy, having to suffer only in the last month of the season... well, okay, maybe we DID have to agonize over The Collapse in the off-season... but there has been NOTHING like the frustration and bewilderment experienced by most of us during the 2008 Mets season.

But, bottom line: I'm not really upset that they lost last night, I'm upset at HOW they lost. In thinking about it though, there is a "but" here, and that's this: while last night's loss was certainly disappointing and aggravating on so many levels, it was truly a TEAM loss, and for some reason, that comforts me. Win as a team, lose as a team. Hey, at least they're PLAYING like a team! Which is something we maybe couldn't say earlier this year.

And Santana goes tonight, and that has to comfort you if you're a Mets fan. The guy has just been as solid, if not spectacular, as one could wish his or her ace to be, and you have to like the Mets' chances of recapturing the division lead.

And pardon me if today's Yankees suck image du jour is rather mundane.... it's just so fitting, so appropriate, so much a symbol of what's wrong with the Yankees that it speaks for itself. Res ipsa loquitur. Look it up. Hee hee hee.

And The Big Pussy's Pick of the SEASON Goes To...

2008-08-27T08:07:00.004-04:00

...none other than...

The Mets Bullpen. The Coop came out of semi-BPP retirement for this truly special event.

So, I got a note from a friend last night -- I was in bed early, because honestly, I saw the writing on the wall, the minute the score was 7-5, I didn't need to stay up to watch what I knew was going to go down, so I didn't get the note till this morning -- that the team showed a lot of heart, but they really need Billy Wagner back.

Hmmm, but even with Billy Wagner, the bullpen was still blowing leads.

And I mean, substantial leads. Yes, the Mets bullpen has given credence to the old saying that it aint over till its over.

Apparently, someone forgot to tell the Mets about that, and clued the Phils into it.

So riddle me this -- why is it that when the Mets are already out of it (take for instance, last Saturday's game, at 8-1), the bullpen seems to keep it together. I'd like to point out this was evident in the last game of 2007 (do I even need to go there?), after Tom Glavine gave up 7 earned runs in the first inning, the bullpen came and was magic.

While the BP (bullpen, not BIG Pussy) was hardly the problem last year, when Carlos Delgado is on my good side again, that says A LOT about the games this team has been losing all season.

So not having Billy Wagner may be a part of the problem, I can tell you that Duaner Sanchez forgetting how to throw a strike, Joe Smith regressing to the mean, and Aaron Heilman, well I mean, he's the Charter Member of the BPP. I mean, I know that Luis Ayala is the new "official" closer, but it was about time he'd blow it.

I mean, why bother pitching in the bullpen if you can't get an out?

After all, isn't that what you get paid for, gentleman?

So tonight, we got Johan going, but of course, he's the Poster Boy for Bullpen Suckage, since the team has managed to blow like 20 of his starts this year.

I do have to say though, my anger is subsided a bit this year. I'm over 2007. I've been over since, well, basically since September 30, 2007, and when Johan Santana was officially traded. But I can look at this game and say, this is a gimme game -- to the Phils.

Hell, you know its bad when Johan, Pedro AND Big Pelf are all begging for the ball when they are obviously tired. Complete Games are the new black for the Mets.

So thanks Bullpen, thanks so much. Even if this pathetic team does make the playoffs, no one, and I mean no one is going to be threatened by this pussy wimp of a bullpen.

THE COOP HAS SPOKEN.

The Incredible Mike Pelfrey....

2008-08-26T09:43:00.002-04:00

....struck again last night, pitching another complete game in spectacularly dominating fashion.

Is there anything this guy can't do?

And hey, is he eligible for ROY, or maybe...even...dare I say... MVP?????? This guy might actually be the most valuable Met player this year, and now with Maine going down and the stretch run coming, is it, well, a stretch to think he might not get a few votes here and there?

The Mets move on to Philadelphia tonight for a two-game series which while not crucial, is definitely important, and at least a split would be very, very nice. The Phillies have been hot, coming off a recent sweep of the Dodgers, and anything could happen, and usually does.

Maybe I'll write more later, but right now, I'm just going to give y'all the obligatory Yankees suck image du jour....

The Houston Factor....

2008-08-25T09:09:00.002-04:00

...is it my imagination, or do the Astros seem to have the Mets' late-season number? First, the three-game sweep of a few weekends ago out in Houston, and now, two tough losses to the very same Astros over this past weekend at Shea.

And not even one of the pitchers that beat us was named "Oswalt."

They may be the "Almost Last-ros," but they sure have played the Mets tough this year. They're tough, scrappy, aggressive, head-scratching (see: Hunter Pence), gritty and stubborn, and if worse comes to worse, we will certainly look to the Astros' series as a reason why worse did, in fact, come to worse.

Even worse news than the two losses to the Astros this weekend is the medical condition of John Maine, who, to me, hasn't looked comfortable out there for quite some time now. First, there were back issues. Now, arm and shoulder issues. Whatever the issues, it is undeniable that John simply hasn't had it, and may need to be shut down for the remainder of the year.

The problem with this isn't so much the postseason, since we could get by very easily with the remaining four starters due to the scheduling of the games and the off-days. The problem lies in the stretch run against the very pesky Phillies, who continue to prove the old baseball Yogiom that, truly, "it ain't over 'til it's over." The Phillies pulled out a win last night against the Dodgers in spectacular fashion, and are now a half game behind the Mets in the division. It's going to be a race all the way until the end, and we'll need as many horses as we can get to run it well and to achieve the desired result.

And in other news, El Duque is now strongly considering what may be career-ending surgery to his foot....

The Magic Is Back... but is it enough?

And now, the obligatory Yankees suck image du jour....

The Friday Go Fuck Yourself And Good Riddance Award...

2008-08-22T12:59:00.004-04:00

....goes to the Atlanta Braves. And I renamed the Award just for them, just for this week... heh heh heh.

And why, you ask, the Atlanta Braves? Well, because they're the Atlanta Braves, formerly relevant, now irrelevant, and deserve a good, hearty "Go Fuck Yourself," probably supplemented with "Go Fuck Yourself, We No Longer Care About Your Irrelevant Also-Ran Team With Your Old Tired Roster, And By The Way, Take Your Mike Fucking Hampton And Shove Him Up Your Old Irrelevant Ass."

That type of thing... hahahahaha ha!

And why good riddance? Well, because after how many years of the Braves' having been our strongest competition in the division, I think a good, hearty "Good Riddance" is in order, don't you?

And while I'm at it, a good, hearty "Good Riddance" to one Chipper Jones, who had the audacity to name one of his children "Shea," the smarmy fucker that he is.

And that's it for this week, folks. Stay tuned....

The Magic Is Back....

2008-08-22T09:28:00.004-04:00

...it really IS back, you know. How do I know this? Well.... based upon observation, of course, silly! Alas, I know you sabermetricians out there will say nay, and scoff at my powers of observation, but despite your naysaying and scoffing, there is an air of electricity and power surrounding Shea and the Mets that simply has not been there in the past few years. David Wright is focused, the ball finding its way into his hand, and glove, seemingly effortlessly. Carlos Delgado is getting FIVE HITS, including a game-winning hit, in a game. The bullpen is actually getting outs, and -- get this -- WITHOUT GIVING UP RUNS IN BETWEEN THOSE OUTS! The starters have found new and improved pitch counts. The boys can be found on the top steps of the dugout most nights, cheering each other on, joking, rally capping, and the whole kit and kaboodle.

Yes, indeed; instead of the tragic, the MAGIC is back at Shea! And how fitting is that for the wrap-up of Shea as the home of the Mets... it's a karma of a sort, serendipitous and cosmic and right, just somehow...right.

And we were treated to another wonderful Keith Hernandez Moment At The Mike last evening. Those of you who were watching undoubtedly know the moment about which I'm writing. Yes, it was that moment -- the moment when Tom Seaver, having been invited into the booth by Gary, Keith and Ron, had his career statistics flashed on the screen. Among those statitics was Tom The Great's career W/L record, which was, I believe, 311-205. And Keith, without missing a beat, in the way only Keith can, turns to Tom The Great and asks him "how'd you manage to lose all those games?"

When the laughing stopped, and Tom The Great recovered, you just had to realize the brilliance of the moment. Why, what Keith said to Tom is something like saying to Jesus Christ, upon his rising from the dead: "so, how'd you manage to die on that cross?" Yikes!

Right now, it just doesn't get any better than Gary, Keith and Ron, nor any better than The New York Mets. Yessirreeee, The Magic Is Back....and I'm loving it.

And NOW, for those of you who are waiting, the obligatory Yankee image du jour for your enjoyment and perusal....

And The Mets Continue To Roll...

2008-08-21T08:50:00.005-04:00

...and Mike Pelfrey pitches the first complete game of his career last night at Shea. By the reaction of the crowd in the bottom of the ninth inning, you'd have thought you were at a World Series game.

In the post-game interview, Pelfrey seemed kind of shell shocked and stunned by the reaction of the Shea Stadium crowd. I got news for ya, Mikey -- if you continue on this way, you had better get used to that. Much like the encores some of the offense are goaded to give by the wildly enthusiastic Shea fans, so the pitchers get the ninth inning on-yer-feet treatment by the crowd. Shea is like nothing else when the going's good, and last night, the going was VERY good, indeed.

I think I'm at the point where I'm finally able to call the Mets a TEAM. They are playing like one, celebrating like one, supporting each other like one, and if walks like a duck... well, you know the rest. This Mets duck is quacking fiercely, and if the bullpen holds up, and the offense does enough, and the starters continue to perform the way they have, well then, duck soup is certainly very possible.

They don't call 'em The Amazins for nuttin!

And now, for the piece de resistance, the Yankees suck image du jour. And make sure you say that as im-azzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzhhhhhhhhe, with the zzzzzzzzzzzzzzhhhhhhhhhe very, very, stressed -- JUST LIKE THE YANKEES! Yuck yuck yuck....

Before I Even Get Started Today...

2008-08-20T09:02:00.003-04:00

....behold the ubiquitous Yankees suck image du jour.

I'm sure that by now, you all know where that image came from. It's none other than Johnny Damon, of course, muffing one of two fly balls in center field last night in Toronto, a game the Yankees lost, and a game which now has made Yankees hopes for a postseason berth very, very dim, indeed.

How sweeeeeeeet it is!

Now I'm not one to ordinarly exult in the misfortunes of others, but when those others are the Yankees... well, they are the exception that proves the rule, as it goes.

As for the Mets, a spectacular bottom of the eighth inning comeback against the Braves bullpen, which makes the Mets bullpen look like it's full of Mariano Riveras, resulted in a big W against the Braves, and a hold of the Mets' 1.5 game lead in the NL East, the Phillies having won last night as well.

Of course, the ubiquitous Billy Wagner had some strange comments after the game last night, rambling on about "focus," and "today's society," and "Hall of Fame," and "criticism," in a way that only Billy Wagner can. Of course, little of it made any sense; it was more a nonsensical no point to it rambling rose of a rant that left me scratching my head and wondering what mind-altering drugs Billy might have been consuming.

That's right, Billy...I'm talking about you.

The Mets series against the Braves continues this evening at Shea Stadium.

Maddux Returns To The Dodgers....

2008-08-19T10:25:00.006-04:00

...Mad Dog gets not only his own SHOW, but his own CHANNEL on Sirius, and Matt La Porta gets plunked by the Chinese in Olympic baseball.

America...what a country!

So Greg Maddux is back with the Dodgers. This is a move which I think will help the Dodgers tremendously down the stretch. He's a buck solid veteran, a stabilizing force on any pitching staff, and his re-acquisition is, in this blogger's humble opinion, as good a move as any team has made down the stretch this year.

And here's something really, reallllllly sweet to contemplate: Joe Torre making the post-season in his first year as Dodger manager, and Joe Girardi & Company watching from the comfort of their homes. Sweeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeet! I meant to mention this the other day, but I guess I forgot. Man, what a lovely comeuppance that would be for Joe, who was treated, again in this blogger's humble opinion, very badly by the Yankees last year, swines that they are.

And oh, yeah, before I forget, the Yankees suck image du jour... heh heh heh....

As for Mad Dog Russo, the Sirius announcement was of course not unexpected. The monster deal he got ($3 million for five years) was rumored last week when he left the Mike & The Mad Dog Show in between the crocodile tears he shed, and frankly, I think the nut job that is Chris Russo will do very well indeed, and will earn every penny of that three million bucks he's getting. And then some.

And I'm thinking that, after yesterday's USA v. China game, Olympic baseball might actually have some oomph and pizzazz, as tempers flared, players got plunked, and the game actually resembled something resembling a real baseball game. Imagine that. Perhaps there's hope for the sport in the Olympics.

Tonight, the Mets begin a three-game series against the hapless Braves. The Braves are in as bad a shape as I've ever seen, and if the other GMs out there aren't paying attention to all the problems the Braves are having because of their (ahem) "veteran" roster, then my name isn't Deb, and yours isn't, either.

If that makes any sense, you're either brighter, dumber, or simply more confused than I.

And one more thing - the Met bullpen. The only way this bullpen has any success, sans Wagner, is if every starter gets at least the ubiquitous 20 outs that Lee Mazzilli says every starter ought to get. And with Pedro on the starting staff, and with Maine looking the way he's been looking, you're not getting 20 outs from either of them, which means 2/5 of the starting staff ain't giving it to ya. So no Wagner = little success, which, in turn = how the fuck are we going to make the postseason, and even if we do, how the fuck are we going to compete once there?

For answers to these and other questions.... look somewhere else; I sure don't have any!

Oh, Yeah, And Before I Forget...

2008-08-18T14:46:00.004-04:00

...here's the obligatory daily Yankee image....

Let It ROLL, Baby, Roll.....

2008-08-18T09:51:00.005-04:00

...let it ROLL, baby roll... all month long!

The Mets have now gotten another six pack, and are in the midst of another nice win streak; not to be redundant, or anything, but it's six in a row as of today. Of course, they've played the Nationals, who don't even belong in AAA, less in MLB, and the Pirates, who ought to stick to the high seas, but hey, considering that this team has, in the past, truly played down to its competition, all things considered, I think the recent win streak is well worth noting and remembering.

In other news, the Mets acquired Luis Ayala from the aforesaid lowly Gnats for Anderson Hernandez, who, let's face it, was never going to do anything here at the major league level. Ayala hasn't had a wildly successful year, but who knows what a change of scenery may bring? And with Billy Wagner continuing to ail, the bullpen situation is still in some turmoil, despite its recent successes. The competition's going to get tougher, and we need all the help we can get.

Is anybody less excited than me about the soon-to-come return of Luis Castillo to the big team? I just can't get all worked up and excited over the old guy's return, sorry. And I'll believe it when I see it, anyway.

Game time today 12:30, LET'S GET THE SWEEP, BOYS!

But The Weirdest Fucking Shit Of All....

2008-08-15T09:48:00.002-04:00

...is the news that broke late yesterday that Christopher "Mad Dog" Russo, longtime co-host of WFAN's "Mike and The Mad Dog" afternoon show, was leaving the station for parts unknown.

This shouldn't really come as a surprise to anyone. Mike and Chris have had feuds in their 18+ years on WFAN before; in fact, more often than not, or so it seems. The announcement apparently came almost immediately following the announcement by WFAN of a new contract for Mike Francessa, and I wonder how much one had to do with the other, since I think Russo was under contract to WFAN through 2009, or at least part of it, as he himself said on the show a couple of weeks ago.

Of course, he also said he wasn't going anywhere, so there is that.

Rumors are that Russo will be off to satellite radio.

This all brings me to why I've called this the "weirdest fucking shit of all." Why, you ask? Well, because in all my years on sports message boards, blogs, fan sites, and talking to fans, Mets and Yankees, Giants and Jets, Knicks and Nets, Rangers, Islanders, Devils, Liberty, you name it -- I've never encountered a single person who's had anything positive to say about Mad Dog, and about Mike, although to a little lesser extent.

And now, this morning, all these callers on the Richard Neer show (whom I truly dislike, always have, even when he was a DJ on the old WNEW 102.7 FM, but more about him another time, the stuck up arrogant ass that HE is) are calling in and bemoaning the demise of both the M&MD show and of Christopher Russo himself.

Funny how shit happens, huh?

And since this IS, after all, a Mets blog, the best news of all today is that last night in D.C., the Mets completed a sweep of the Nationals, and now possess first place in the NL East all by their lonesome.

And you have to wonder whether it is really an option for the Mets to resign Ollie Perez. You almost have to do it if you're the Mets, no matter what it costs you.

And speaking of pitching, with Stokes in the role of the long man out of the pen, and with Billy Wagner scheduled to return to the big club on Monday, you have to feel much better about the whole state of the bullpen, if you're a Mets fan.

And the icing on the Mets cake? I'll give you three guesses, and the first two don't count.

Yep, that's right, you guessed it!

Now This Here Is Some Weird Fucking Shit....

2008-08-14T15:01:00.007-04:00

...and I ain't just a-playing Dixie on yer ass!

Weird Fucking Shit #1: Julia Child, that indomitable lovable television chef that we all knew, wouldn't admit to watching, but did... the lovely lady who couldn't cook for nothin', and was in fact told by more than one cooking instructor to hang up her potholders, the same lovely lady so well and truly parodied by Dan Aykroyd on SNL for many years was apparently, of all things... a spy for the good ol' U S of A. Now, I've heard some weird fucking shit in my lifetime; in fact, I've caused more than my fair share of weird fucking shit, but when I heard this this morning, I just about peed the bed laughing.

The lovely lady apparently spied for the US in the post-WWII era, for the OSS, the forerunner of the CIA. OMG. LOL. The French Chef "cooked" for the U.S. This information, although rumored for at least ten years, was finally confirmed in a routine relase of thousands of previously classified documents.

I wonder what Dan Aykroyd could have done with his Julia Child impersonation had he known this little tidbit of info....couldja just imagine? Episodes like "Cooking Your Goose" with Joe Stalin, or maybe "Eating Crow" or "Failure To Make European Provisions" with FDR and Winston Churchill? And how about the books she could have written, like "The Art of Cooking Opium For Spies," as it was rumored she actually kept the stuff around to "pay off" her spy stoolies....

"Appetite For Life," indeed, Julia!

Fucking fascinating shit; I kid you not!

Weird Fucking Shit #2: The Opening Ceremony Of The 2008 Beijing Summer Olympics Was Apparently (Gasp!) Partially Fraudulent. I mean, can you believe that a country with such stellar morals and world standing would do such a thing as declaring a young child "too ugly" for television, thus having this child singing "behind the scenes" while another, much "cuter" young lady, lip synched for the camera? Yikes, this is some weird.fucking.shit.

But not some weird.unexpected.fucking.shit. The Chinese are, after all, not immune to the ideals and ideas of society or of The Commandments Of Television And Media, under which the First Commandment is "Thou Shalt Not Air Unattractive People If Other Options Are Readily Available."

Along with "Thou Shalt Consider Lip Synching A Readily Available Option."

Disgraceful? Nah, to be expected, but some weird fucking shit nevertheless.

Weird Fucking Shit #3: The Yankees are actually on the verge of not making the playoffs for the first time since 1993. Actually, this one should be classified as some Weird Fucking Shit That Tickles The Hell Out Of Me! Mr. Hanky even as much as came out this past week and said, publicly, something to the effect that they [the Yankees] would "win it next year."

And even weirder fucking shit within the already weird fucking shit is that nobody, but NOBODY in the Yankee Universe has dared to ask a player, manager, team official, team flunky, groupie or hanger-on what he or she thinks of this latest blabber gushing from the mouth of Mr. Hanky.

And notice, I never seem to tire of posting Yankees Suck images...

The Only Thing Worse Than The Met Bullpen....

2008-08-14T09:51:00.004-04:00

...is apparently the entire Washington Nationals team, lock, stock, barrel, offense, defense, and pitching.

Pardon me if last night, I almost, no, check that: I DID feel sorry for the Nationals' young pitcher Jason Bergmann. At least I think that's how you spell it, and I think what I felt was sympathy. In fact, it was such a strong feeling, I had to turn the channel during the third inning; I simply could not watch it anymore.

So the Mets end up winning the game 12 to zip, Johnny Maine returned to the starting rotation with a bang, and the Mets are now tied with the Phillies, once again, for first place in the NL East.

Overall, a nice piece of work thus far this week.

The race for the division crown is probably going down to the wire, and it should prove to be an interesting seven weeks ahead.

And oh, has anybody seen the new Mets ticket prices for next season? My buddies at The Mets Police posted this about the whole thing yesterday. Pretty much looks like Joe Average Fan will be pushed to his limit monetarily, and will basically be shit out of luck getting anything approaching a field level seat.

Hey, on the bright side, at least no PSLs, and I ain't talking about Port St. Lucie, yuckyuckyuck.

Looks as if my computer is finally fixed, and things are almost back to normal. Whatever normal passes for in MY crazy life, anyway.

I Don't Know What's Worse...

2008-08-13T16:09:00.003-04:00

...my computer problems over the past week or the Mets' bullpen.

My computer crashed last week, and although the hard drive was restorable to its virgin self, we're on a server here, and it's been and continues to be a painful, time consuming and pain in the ass process trying to get everything back up to snuff. I've been working off a remote connection, which is fine as it goes, but it has limitations, such as printing certain things, like checks and other documents from our accounting software.

Plus, I've lost all my favorites and a couple of other things that were on the C drive, but I've managed to find most everything else, since I've pretty much stored everything on the server since I've been here, and that's over three years now. Actually, going on closer to four...

And now, onto those crappy Met arms in the bullpen. Although to their credit, and perhaps due to Jerry Manuel's posturing and astute use of the media over the past few days, two of them did manage to step up last night.

The reason I say Jerry Manuel's "posturing and astute use of the media over the past few days" is because, if you recall, he basically told the media yesterday that Eddie Kunz would be his closer, and has been telling the media for several days that he would put Maine, Perez, and maybe some others in the bullpen, that it was time for drastic action.

And apparently, the bullpen guys had a meeting prior to last night's game, so whatever Jerry's motives were, they worked.

At least for last night.

I thought some of Jerry's decisions last night were curious, but he seems to march to his own drummer and usually things work out, so I have to trust him right now.

I'd still like to add or change one or two arms out there in the pen, and I'd still like to add another bat or two to the offense for the stretch, but as of right now, we are a game back of the Phillies; theoretically, at least, we have the easier schedule from now until the end of the regular season, and the Yankees continue to suck.

Man, I love the sound of that.... hee hee hee!

Just.Kill.Bullpen.

2008-08-12T10:49:00.004-04:00

Aside from that, I have only one other thing to say concerning the state of Mets baseball:

HOW 'BOUT THEM OLYMPICS?

Monday, Monday....

2008-08-11T09:47:00.008-04:00

...*ba da, ba da da da*...

Yeah, like the old Mamas and Papas song, it's Monday, Monday again, but honestly, it's not all I hoped it would be, as a line in the old classic song goes. It's raining cats and dogs here in beautiful Central New Jersey *snicker,* I'm wondering about the status of the game today at Shea between the Mets and the Pirates, and I really don't feel like being here today, not one bit. The dog days of August are officially here, and that feeling of being in limbo and at the end of something at the same time is upon me.

I'm finding that I'm actually enjoying watching some Olympic coverage. The Opening Ceremony on Friday night was absolutely....breathtaking, there's just no other way to describe it. The most amazing thing about it all was the amount of people involved, how imaginatively and creatively they were used, and how all of 'em managed such, well, synchronicity. It frankly astounded me and most of the world, as well, I suspect.

And the final touch, the lighting of the torch, with one of China's great former Olympians circling the stadium's membrane as if suspended in mid-air, culminating in the final whoooosh as the flame circled up the beautiful red torch...well, it's enough to give one goosebumps.

And how about that huge, as in humongous, LED screen on the floor of the stadium?

And how about the drummers?

AND HOW ABOUT THAT AMERICAN MEN'S RELAY SWIM TEAM, HUH? Beating the Eurotrash-talking Frenchmen. That moment was almost as good as.... well, as good as anything I've seen in sports for some time.

Now, back to the Mets, who are now two games out of the division lead, having won the series from the very tough Marlins this weekend. I still think the Marlins are going to prove to be the tougher competition for the division crown, and it remains to be seen how Mets pitching will hold up down the stretch, with Big Pelf appearing to be suffering the affects of throwing more innings than he has in any year thus far in his career, John Maine coming off the DL, and the bullpen still a semi-train wreck with Billy Wagner still on the DL. But hell, it's a semi-train wreck even with Billy Wagner NOT on the DL, so there is that...

The Mets' young talent is starting to blossom, or as in the case of young Daniel Murphy, continuing to blossom, and the bench guys are still doing more than anyone could have expected. Wright has broken out of his mid-season malaise, but I'm still worried about the big three combo of Beltran, Delgado and Wright; if they don't put a nice offensive run together, we're not winning anything.

But perhaps, the best news of all is that the Yankees look for all the world as if it will be a real stretch for them to make the playoffs this year. As Jackie Gleason used to say... how sweeeeeeeeeeeet it is. Look, knowing the Yankees, you can't ever count them out, but for now, it surely doesn't look good; it surely doesn't.

I Have Only One Thing To Say....

2008-08-07T15:35:00.002-04:00

...(with apologies to my fellow blogger Ed in Westchester)...

Just.Kill.Bullpen.

Or, as The Joker would say... "kill the bullpen!"

As Favre Un-Packs....

2008-08-07T10:26:00.003-04:00

...and unloads his gear in New York, some Jets fans are just about shitting green over the prospect of having Brett as the leader of the Jet offense.

And although I can understand their glee, Brett is, after all, 38 years old, and hardly the quarterback of the future, the man around which to plan all other things Jet.

If I really thought the Jets were going to be serious contenders this year, I'd be whooping it up and shitting green with much of Jets Nation, but I just think that he'll be nothing more than window dressing for an otherwise mediocre team.

And what if anything will this do to the development of Clemens as the quarterback of the future?

And I can't help but feel badly for Chad Pennington, whose progress has be impeded by injuries, and whom I still think has a contribution to make for some team, somewhere.

I guess it's just not going to be for the Jets.

And onto other news Mets, somebody please slap (a) David Wright; (b) Carlos Beltran and (c) Carlos Delgado????? Wright has looked as if he belongs in A ball over the past week or so, and he wasn't tearing it up offensively or defensively before that. And despite the love he's always gotten from Met fans, and maybe even because of it, he's got to bear his share of the blame for the latest episode in the series Mets Woes, 2008 Style.

As for Beltran, as much as I love him defensively, and admire what he's doing for the new outfielders, who as we all know aren't really outfielders, he still drives me nuts with his offensive approach and game, and he isn't really helping things offensively, either, and hasn't for much of this year.

As for Delgado, let me just say I was not one of those who felt the unyielding urge to apologize to him for every bad thing I ever said about him because he had one torrid month. He's back to being the Delgado many of us know and loathe, and what makes things worse is that I actually am starting to believe his option for next year will be picked up by the Mets.

Next, I'm going to find out Pedro's coming back... could the resigning of Moises Alou be far behind?

Ugh... this afternoon is the rubber game of the series between the Mets and the Padres. And last night, the Botch says to me, during the game, that based upon what she's seen of the Padres this year, she wonders how they could ever lose.

I reminded her that the only times she's actually seen the Padres this year was when they played the Mets, which of course was a very sobering thought.

One, A Closer...Two, A Closer...Three, A Closer...

2008-08-06T10:40:00.005-04:00

...well, you get the drift.

I could comment on the closer situation with the Mets, but after a brilliant piece like this one, why bother? Toasty's done such a great job of it, that all that remains is the laughter...and the tears which are going to inevitably follow.

I never thought Billy Wagner might be so valuable to us, frankly. Even after blowing seven saves this year, some of them in games that we really, REALLY needed to win, he might have become the Most Valuable Player On The DL this season, a position formerly held by the likes of Moises Alou and Ryan Church. Talk about an unlikely turn of events....

Last night was the Rocky Horror Picture Show in the making, or should I say, the RE-making. Imagine Jerry Manuel as Dr. Frank-N-Furter, with none other than Aaron "Thou Shalt Not Fail To Let The First Batter Pass" Heilman as Brad, and Dan Warthen as Eddie, with Howard Johnson as Riff Raff... and you've got the makings of a truly horrific remake, giving the words twisted classic a whole new meaning. The story line would go something like Brad (Aaron), after following the path which he was led to believe would lead to major league success, suddenly goes horribly astray, when he runs into Jerry "F-N-F,", who, with the assistance of Dan "Eddie," and egged on by Howard "Riff Raff," gently but firmly lead him down the path of no return. Pretty friggin' funny, if it were only a story line.

The only thing missing is a couple of women, but of course, Keith Hernandez would probably put the kibosh on that, seeing as how women shouldn't be allowed in the dugout, and all.

But back to the Mets, and to the present. With no moves having been made at the trading deadline, and with Livan Hernandez all but gone to Colorado (yeah, I know, but he IS an arm, and he IS an innings eater), the status of Church still up in the air (and literally, since God knows why the Mets have him flying all over creation with the team, fcol, he has a HEAD injury), Maine on the DL, Wagner on the DL, and most of Bingo at the ML level, with young guys playing out of position, the bullpen performing like the "crack" committee, and with Fernando Tatis currently carrying the offense on his shoulders... well, maybe you're thinking September call-ups are coming soon.

September call-ups? They've all ALREADY been called up...take a look at the roster.

Omar needs to make some moves if we're going to stay in this thing up to our rubber necks.

Stay tuned.

And on the other side of town, the Yankees' season may have ended with the injury to Joba Chamberlain. Wish I could offer some sympathy, but I'm currently too busy worrying about my own team.

At Least, I'm Not Wondering....

2008-08-04T09:27:00.004-04:00

...why I'm in a sour ass mood today, considering the recent play of the Mets, losing five of their last six, getting swept by the lowly Houston Astros, letting the likes of Kaz Matsui and Ty Wigginton have a hand in the beating...ugh!

Normally, it takes a while to get going on a Monday morning, anyway, but with all that baggage, and all, well, it's even harder. On first glance, it might be hard to believe that a team that can reel off ten straight wins with nary a sweat being raised could revert back to its prior form so easily and so quickly.

But on second glance, we realize, once again, that you are what you are what you are, and what this team has been for close to two years now is pretty much a .500 team, no matter who the manager is.

I said before Willie was fired that Willie wasn't the problem with this team, and it's starting to look as if I might have had a clue there. Don't get me wrong, I think Willie had lost the team and needed to go at some point, but I also didn't think then, and don't think now, that his firing would make a major impact on the course of this season.

And now John Maine is on the DL, and frankly, even if he comes off as scheduled, I'm very concerned about him; Billy "I'm Forever Blowing..." Wagner has arm issues as well, Pedro is, well, Pedro (translation: he's now morphed into the role of a dilettante on the pitching staff), Carlos Beltran has become so unaggressive at the plate he's now batting second, Carlos Delgado is cooling off and David Wright is strangely blah this year. I don't hold out too much hope for the return of Church, and Alou is out for the season. We then have a bunch of rookies playing out of position, a bunch of bench guys who have performed beyond what anyone could have reasonably (or unreasonably) expected, and a bullpen that can't hold a lead or save a game for the life of 'em.

And Omar stands pat at the trading deadline.

Look, I get that we traded away a lot of our prospects for Santana. I get that. I get that Omar didn't want to "overpay" (whatever the hell THAT means anymore) for marginal talent; I get that the array of arms available out there wasn't stellar, but standing pat? I just don't get that, I'm sorry. As it turns out, many of the guys who went the way of the trade were eminently gettable; I have to wonder what the eff the Mets were thinking.

You know what they say: in for a penny, in for a pound. And if you're not, then don't play around. Hey, that rhymes. Which is about the only funny thing I can think of right now. With all the money the Mets have spent on this... this.... this... TEAM (and these days, I'm using the word loosely), you would think that with the division within their grasp, they'd pull out the stops necessary to grab the brass ring.

Which leads me to one question -- what the fuck ARE they doing, anyway? Are they really trying to win it all? Or are they just (with thanks to Blazing Saddles) "jerking off?????"

Well, jerk somebody else off, boys. The team is falling apart at the seams, and right now, I'm not in the mood to once again pick myself up, dust myself off, and have any reasonable confidence in its direction.

Because today, folks, there ain't no good, tons of bad, and it's all just ugly. Today I feel like a Yankee fan.... yes, indeed, today, I feel like the Mets suck.

The Friday "Go Fuck Yourself" Award....

2008-08-01T09:16:00.005-04:00

...and today, folks, it's a three way tie between Manny Ramirez, Brett Favre and... (drum roll, please).... John McCain!

Let's take them one at a time, shall we?

We'll start with Manny Ramirez, who has been a thorn in the side of the Red Sox since almost before he landed in Beantown. Between his petulant behavior, his "sit outs," the constant controversy surrounding him, the many "Manny being Manny" incidents, the pushing and shoving of an old guy in the Red Sox front office, well, it's gotten him removed from Beantown and transplanted to the Left Coast, and a different league. With -- get THIS -- the Red Sox PAYING THE REMAINDER OF HIS CONTRACT. That's right, you DID NOT MISREAD THAT. And considering the huge talent that Manny has for the game of baseball, you have to know that for it to have come to this, contract status notwithstanding, it really had to have become totally unbearable for the very smart Red Sox organization to dump his ass, pay the freight across country for dumping his ass, and essentially get nothing in return for his ass. I suppose you could say that his ass ain't nothing but trash, with apologizes to The Steve Miller Band, lol.

Now onto the next screwball, one Brett Favre. Honestly, Brett, I knew at the time you announced your retirement, in a very touching crying-in-your-beer moment, that you weren't ready to retire. I knew it was just a knee-jerk reaction to the Super Bowl loss. And if I knew it, most of the rest of the world did, too, I suspect. And sure enough, no sooner had the dust settled on your crocodile tears than you announce you want to UN-retire, thus basically placing the Green Bay Packers in an untenable unenviable no-win (probably redundant, but I really, really want to make my point here) position.

In fact, rumor has it that the position of the Packers is SO untenable, they've offered Brett $20 million over 10 years to just sit down and shut the fuck up.

Unfuckingbelievable.

And the VIKINGS? You should hang your head in shame, Brett Favre. Man, has the bloom come off the Favre rose; the bloom has turned to tarnish, and who the hell knows what is going to come of this whole entire mess.

And now, the piece de resistance, one John McCain. Mr. McCain earned his share of this award for his pride in the recent commercial put out by his campaign. You know, the one where Barack Obama is shown to be, uh, enjoying his celebrity status in much the same way as are Britney Spears and Paris Hilton.

WAIT a minute... Britney Spears and Paris Hilton? Far as I know, Obama has never shaved his head, or exhibited bizarre, unexplained behavior (well, no more so than any other politician), and the only thing he has in common with Paris Hilton is... well... nothing. In fact, McCain, he of the Hanoi Hilton, might claim more in common with Paris Hilton than Obama ever could. Not to make light of that very awful, horrible experience, but really, John.... you've done everything but come right out and scream to the world "Look what I've done for you! Look how I've suffered! I deserve this, and I want this, and by golly, I'm going to do whatever I can to get this!"

In fact, the unholy trio of McCain, Spears and Hilton might aptly remake the "Heroes and Zeros" album.

And frankly, John, you ain't making no friends, but plenty of enemies, with this type of "campaigning." If you're so sure you're the right man for the job, well, show us your lark (is anyone else here old enough to remember that catch phrase?), put up and shut up, and let the American people, whom you don't seem to trust in the slightest, decide.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

And finally, on a different note, the line of the week. That honor goes to Jerry Manuel, who, when asked by one of the WFAN show hosts this past week where he would bat Manny, promptly replied "right behind Bonds," lol.

Now THERE'S a guy who gets it.

THE GOOD, THE BAD, THE UGLY!!!!

2008-07-31T09:21:00.006-04:00

THE GOOD

Damion Easley with a huge 3-run pinch hit homer...

Pelfrey's first 3 innings...

Marlon with 3 hits...

Muniz and Sanchez with solid efforts...

THE BAD

We lost...

Pelfrey's 4th inning (well, not technically, since he didn't even manage to record an out in the 4th)

Joe Smith

David Wright went 0-4, and killed the rally in the first...

Our 3-4-5 hitters went a combined 0-11 last night...

THE UGLY

Just an overall bad loss, as we fall back out of first place... Probably the worst outing by a starter in over a month... The HR allowed by Smith really deflating after Easley had gotten us right back in the game...

Oh well... We move on, take the day off, see if anything happens on the trade front, and head to Houston to whoop up on the 'Stros!!!

Who Knows What Evil Lurks In The Hearts Of Men (And Women)....

2008-07-30T13:15:00.004-04:00

...the shadow do, that's who!

And I bet you're just sitting in your chair, reading this, as if you had nothing better to do, and wondering what the hell brought THIS on? Well, what brought this on is that for some reason, I was sitting here today reminiscing about the funniest and most diabolically, cleverly and fiendishly imaginative and evil thing I ever did to someone. Now, some of you might not think it's particularly evil, or even funny, and it truly isn't funny ha-ha funny, but I dare you to deny its diabolicial, clever and fiendishly imaginative nature.

So without further ado, here goes. And bear with me here.

Some years ago (not TOO many), I was the office manager of a small local law firm. In this small local firm, which I'll call "Tweedle Dumb & Tweedle Dumber" (which brings me to another story, but not now...), we had occasion to hire law clerks to do the more mundane tasks which the attorneys did not want to burden themselves with. Which, if you know anything about attorneys, means just about everything.

Well, anyway, there came a time when we had occasion to hire a lovely young gentleman whom I will call, quite simply and accurately, "The Victim." Well, The Victim was a nice enough sort, but true to what I found out soon enough to be the typical law clerk persona, which was sort of a combination of knowing just enough to be dangerous to self and those around self, a healthy dose of ego, the immaturity of the young, and the arrogance of a lawyer-in-training, we constantly butted heads. Now I knew enough to realize that confronting the situation head-on would not be the preferred method of dealing with it; in fact, I knew the opposite to be true. Remember, we are dealing with lawyers here, and lawyers-in-training.

So instead, I just sat, waited, and observed. And through this, I noticed that The Victim had a particuarly intriguing anal retentive habit with, of all things, his pencils. His office was next to mine, and I noticed that every day before he left, he would sharpen all of his pencils to a nice, sharp, uniform point with the battery operated pencil sharpener in his office, and place them, point up, in the pencil cup on his desk.

Well, that was all I needed to commence The Attack.

The first day after he left, I simply went into his office, dulled all the points, and put the pencils back in the cup, point (or should I say, former point, nyuck nyuck nyuck) facing up. He came in the next day and wouldn't you know, went straight for the pencil cup, eyeing it as if it were some kind of monster from the deep, perplexed as all hell as to how this could possibly have occurred, wondering whether he forgot his usual habit, then simply taking all the pencils, sharpening them once again to their fine points, and replacing them in the cup, none the worse for wear.

So I waited a few days. And then one day when he left, I turned the pencils face down. And got the same reaction the next morning.

Then I really started fucking with him. Every couple of days, I'd face them down, then I'd leave some up, and some down, then I'd replace them with red pencils, I'd hide them, shit like that. And still, he did not catch on; he simply kept sharpening, turning, replacing, without skipping a beat.

And then one day, I got the brainstorm of all brainstorms. I went into his office after he left one day, and replaced the batteries in the pencil sharpener with ones that I had taken from home, which were just about dead. Then I dulled all the pencil points, and waited. And the next morning, when he came in, and saw the dulled pencil points, and grabbed the sharpener, I heard this "eerrrrrgrrrrrrssssh", you know, the noise sharpeners make when they die.

He came running into my office in a panic, holding the sharpener, barely coherent. When I asked him what was wrong, he thrust the sharpener in my direction, mumbling something incomprehensible, so I made it easy for him (ha!), telling him that yes, I had heard that distinctive sound, and I would get him new batteries.

Which I did, and replaced them that afternoon....but I kept the old ones.

And then I left him alone for about two weeks.

And THEN, the piece de resistance.

I replaced the brand new batteries with the old batteries one night after he left. And then, of course, the tried and true dull points trick. So the next morning he comes in, finds the dull points, reaches for the sharpener, only to hear that distinctive "errrrrggggggrrrssh" once again.

Again, he picks up the sharpener, runs into my office, thrusts it out towards me... and I tell him, very firmly and sternly, this: "We've had that sharpener for two years now with the same set of batteries, and it worked fine. I just replaced them for you less than two weeks ago, and now they're DEAD ALREADY? I'll get you new ones, but I'm taking them out of your pay!" As he stands there, aghast, I start laughing my mo-fo ass off, and finally..... FINALLY.... he gets it.

He turned the strangest color of ash, ran out of the room, and studiously avoided me for a couple of months.

I had no more problems with him; we ended up becoming great friends, and in fact, when he left for a "real" job, I gave him a dozen pencils and his very own battery operated pencil sharpener.

Fuckin'A; one of the best stunts I ever pulled, if'n I hafta say so myself!

So, any of you got any evil stories to share?

THE GOOD, THE BAD, THE UGLY...

2008-07-30T08:55:00.003-04:00

THE GOOD

A solid win for the Metsies... Excellent starting pitching by Ollie, who by the way, is making up for a poor start to the season, and earning back all those millions... If he finished the season strong, I imagine he's in line for a contract worth about $15 million a year...

DELGADO GO BOOOOOM!!!

I mean, seriously, what more can ya say... This guy has been on fire for a month now, and is the single biggest reason for the Mets improvement over that time... I dare say he may even be our best option for next year, and I and many others were ready to run him outta town just 6 weeks ago!!!

Nick Evans looked solid last night... Nothing great, but it's gotta be tough on a kid called up from AA to sit on the bench most nights...

Reyes went 3-5, and other than getting caught at 3rd base on the opening play of the game, had another Jose-type game...

Bullpen did a nice job last night with Heilman and Wags... Certainly looks as if they're stretching out Heilman to be the long man, or at least the guy who can come in and eat up a few innings, something they've lacked the last year and a half, since Darren Oliver left...

THE BAD

Heilman walking 2 in the 7th to make things interesting, but again, nice job recovering there...

Kinda hard to start the game with 3 straight doubles and only have a 1-0 lead, but the Mets managed to find a way to do it!!!

THE UGLY

Even the ugly ain't that bad today... I'll go with Johnny Maine, diagnosed with a mild strain in his rotator cuff, but that really doesn't sound TOO bad, and it looks like at most he'll miss one start, which is actually not that bad considering we have some off days in the week ahead... May not even necessitate calling somebody up to take his spot in the rotation...

THE GOOD, THE BAD, THE UGLY...

2008-07-29T08:40:00.007-04:00

THE GOOD

Well kids... Not too much last night...

Tatis continues his hot hitting with a key triple early in the game...

Decent bullpen outings by Muniz and Sanchez...

THE BAD

Joe Smith got rocked... Schoeneweis none better... Taking a 1 run lead in the 8th, and giving up 5 runs...

It's time, with the trade deadline one day away, for the Mets to really figure out if these bullpen guys are sufficient to get the job done this year... There are arms that COULD be had, if we're willing to part with some minor leaguers (NOT named Martinez or Niese), and I think we could certainly use an upgrade over what we have out there right now...

Rough night for Jose, going 0-5...

THE UGLY

Maine leaving early... If this is anything serious, it throws a serious obstacle in our way to winning this year, because quite simply, I don't think we have the arms to call up from the minors that could even come close to replacing John Maine, and that's also still assuming that Pedro can come back healthy, and I have little reason to believe that is the case, unfortunately...

And, the Marlins are for real... They've always hit this year, but now they're starting to get some of their young starting pitching back, and I think that they have a legitimate shot to win the division, something that would have seemed impossible back when they traded away Miguel Cabrera and Dontrelle Willis...

On the bright side, the Braves are toast!!! Stick a fork in 'em, they're DONE!!! (sorry, best picture I could find!!!)

Monday Notes....

2008-07-28T09:54:00.010-04:00

...I don't know about the rest of you, but I'm frankly exhausted after this past weekend, which consisted of a two-day marathon of shopping, cooking and having company, somehow intermingled with some good old Mets baseball, the "good old" something which I probably couldn't have said about Mets baseball about six weeks ago! So, right now, life for a Mets fan is pretty good, thank you very much.

Without further ado, and in no particular order, here's some stuff for you to chew on this Monday morning:

1. Truly Awkward Moments, Part Uno. And I'm speaking, of course, of the Truly Awkward Moment on the FOX pre-game show Saturday between Ken Rosenthal (whom I'm starting to like more and more, read on) and Mark Grace. Recall that this past weekend was Hall of Fame weekend in Cooperstown. Cut to the FOX pregame show, and either Jeannie Zelasko or Kevin Kennedy, I don't remember which, putting Ken Rosenthal on the hot seat by asking him, in front of Gracie (whom I'm truly starting to dislike more and more, read on), who is eligible for the Hall of Fame next year, whether or not he (Rosenthal) would vote for Gracie. And what could have been a light moment or at the very least simply another moment rapidly became a Truly Awkward Moment, when Rosenthal, who gets a vote for the Hall of Fame, flat out stated on the air in front of Gracie (did I say that already??) that Gracie is NOT a Hall of Famer. Well, if looks could kill.... a bona fide Truly Awkward Moment. I have to wonder how much love is truly out there for Gracie, whom I'm starting to believe is a bit of an arrogant jerk.

2. Manny Ramirez being Manny Ramirez. Well, it's started again, or, er... maybe it's just a continuation of Manny being Manny. First he basically refuses to play Friday night in the series opener against the Yankees (more on that later), then he's back in the lineup, then he's having Media Moments at Fenway basically daring the Red Sox to trade him; I think he even said he'd play in Iran. Which, come to think of it, might not even be as bad as some baseball venues, but that's neither here nor there. This, of course, on the heels of the incident with the guy from the front office earlier this year, spun, of course, as more "Manny Being Manny." One thing I will say -- the Red Sox front office is GENIUS for the spin they seem to be able to consistently place on the many Manny incidents. Stay tuned to see if Manny will stay a Red Sock for the rest of 2008. Smart money is betting that smart money is too smart to even think of predicting what will happen here, because it seems as if everything surrounding Manny Ramirez is always at least a bit unreal, a bit out of synch, a bit unique and individually tailored. In other words, there ain't no rules that apply to anything to do with Manny.

3. How sick am I of Derek Fucking Jeter and The Fucking New York Yankees? Very sick, that's how sick. Between Derek's Edge, the Yankee machinery once again cranking at full steam, the acquisition of former Met Xavier Nady, and the potential acquisition of Jared Washburn, it's just enough to make any Yankee hater vomit pinstripes. ENOUGH of the fucking Yankees already. ENOUGH.

4. Johan Santana Is Now Officially A Met. That's right, he's now done what every single Mets fan has been looking for him to do since Opening Day; he's turned in The Big Performance. His performance yesterday at Shea was so huge on so many levels it's not even up for debate. He took the ball, he ran with it, he pitched with it, he hit with it, he finished what he started in grand fashion, and on the heels of Saturday's gut wrenching exhausting marathon, gave the pitching staff a much needed rest, going into another very important series with the surprisingly resilient Marlins. What a day for King Johan. Long Live The King.

5. Who's Tougher? It's now that time of year where I'm officially thinking about which team, the Phillies or the Marlins, might prove to be the tougher nut to crack, assuming we don't step on our own, uh, well, you know. And no matter which way I turn it, I actually think the Marlins might be tougher. They're younger, more hungry, have better pitching, seem to have a better team persona, strike out a lot less, are tough, scrappy, resilient, play in a nice warm weather climate, and I hate Jimmy Rollins. The last of course being the primary motivating factor here. So I'm saying right now that the Mets will have the tougher time with the Phish than with the Phils. How's that for baiting the hook? Let's see whose bait proves more attractive beginning tonight in Florida.

Friday Rant, Part Dwa...

2008-07-25T15:05:00.003-04:00

..."dwa," being, of course, the number "two" in Polish, naturellement, mon amis.

Anyway, oh, yeah, where was I? Right, the subject of my Friday Rant, Part Dwa. Which means two. Part Two. Just in case you didn't get it the first time.

And now that I've sufficiently annoyed you, just think of how annoyed Charlie Manuel must have been at one Jimmy Rollins, who, having broken another one of Charlie's simple rules (supposedly, he has only two, which are hustle and be on time), may have had a hand in costing his team the game against the Mets yesterday, having arrived at Shea late; in fact, VERY late, with no "heads up" call forthcoming. His ass just got there late, waltzing into the clubhouse as if he were, well... Jimmy Rollins, The Reigning NL MVP.

Kind of making me second-guess my vote for him last year, but I digress, comme d'habitude.

Anyway, this isn't the first time J Ro has got hisself in trouble with the Man man this year. Recall, if you will, an incident earlier this year where the Man man benched J Ro for not hustling, which incident was handled, I thought, very well by both parties. The Man man did what he had to, and J Ro seemed sufficiently chagrined and contrite. End of story? Mais, non, mon amis. Witness yesterday, and J Ro's late arrival to Shea, ending in his benching by the Man man, possibly costing his team a very close game.

Anyway, you're probably wondering at this point -- why does she give a shit, or more to the point, why should I give a shit? Well, I'll tell you, folks. Because considering the shit that Reyes has had to deal with lately for his perceived "showboating" behavior, COULD YOU JUST IMAGINE HOW BIG OF A DEAL THIS WOULD HAVE BEEN HAD IT BEEN REYES? And COULD YOU JUST IMAGINE WHAT J RO MIGHT HAVE HAD TO SAY ABOUT IT HAD IT BEEN REYES?

Fuckers ought to learn that players who live on grass fields shouldn't throw the dung, and physician, heal thyself, or some fuckshit like that; I think you get the general principle.

And oh, J Ro, I didn't even get on you for your stupid "celebrating" after hitting the double the other night, hypocrite.

So stop throwin' the stones, J Ro, and worry about yourself first. It appears that you need to. Dummkopf scheib! Allez en enfer vous stupide idiot!

Friday Rant....

2008-07-25T08:46:00.006-04:00

...so I'm listening to all this horsehit balls shit about Jose Reyes, and his celebratory techniques, and other teams criping and moaning and bitching about how he's a hot dog, or the Mets are this, or the Mets are that, and I'm wondering to myself...has every single person out there lost his or her mind when it comes to the Mets, and what they are, and have been, and hopefully always will be? Huh? HUH?

Look, the Mets, when they began in 1962, were the anti-Yankee, the decidedly blue collar team for the blue collar guy. The Amazin's, with a manager who barely spoke comprehensible English, a first baseman who couldn't field or hit, a bunch of early expansion old timers and rejects that nobody else wanted, the lovable losers, the wonderfully National League New York Mets. Their fans were butchers, bakers, candlestick makers... they were plumbers, sanitation workers, blue collar guys who went out to their curbs in the early morning to fetch their newspapers; who rode mass transit to work, or carpooled with a couple of buddies in the neighborhood; who wore uniforms on the job. Guys who appreciated a good entertaining show every evening while sitting in front of the TV after dinner with a Rheingold in their beefy palms. They didn't particularly care if the team won or not; here was a New York National League team to help cure the sting of the expatriation of the Giants and the Dodgers... led by the one and only Casey Stengel, he of the "what did he say?" genre; guys who couldn't field, couldn't hit, and couldn't pitch...guys that guys who watched them could relate to. Guys that were just out there trying to do a job, and trying to make a living.

And then, when success came, how sweet it was! But still the Mets fan base remained true to its blue collar roots, mostly. And even when the success of the mid-1980s teams drew different types of fans like a moth to the flame of success, the team remained decidedly blue collar, partying like it was 1999, destroying airplanes, brawling, or as I liked to say, a team full of "bruisers, boozers and dope abusers." Maybe nothing to brag about, but very real, very blue collar, very very attuned to its fan base.

Where is all this going? Well, it's going to why the Mets are returning to being the Mets. The anti-Yankees. You can't make a silk purse out of a sow's ear, a leopard doesn't change his spots, and you can't make the Mets into the Yankees. Which is what Willie tried to do, I think, thus stifling the entire aura, personality and cache of the New York Mets. Wisely, Jerry Manuel has slowly but surely returned the patina of the blue collar to Shea Stadium.

Viva la blue collar.

So here it is. Leave Jose Reyes alone. He's young, exuberant, and full of the spirit of the New York Mets. Sure, he's a little flashy at times, but he's real, he's young, he's alive, and he's a Met. Screw the other teams that don't like it, that's THEIR problem, let's not make it ours. Let's enjoy the blue collar culture of the Mets, the grittiness, the real-ness, the in-the-trenches mentality that was so well and truly exhibited by some of the mid-1980s teams, real guys with real issues and real problems, just like all of us.

Probably the main reason I have always been a Mets fan was because I identified with this culture, with the blue collars of the world, the workers, the guys who very quietly supported the weight of their young families on their very big shoulders, who were just looking for a team that wasn't unlike they were. And found it.

So, phuck you, Phillies. And phuck the rest of the league who simply don't understand Mets culture. We are once again the Mets, proud, and scrappy, and real.

And Derek Jeter? Yeah, yoo hoo, you, Mr. Jeter! Why dontacha go climb into that uglyass pseudo-psychedelic orange Edge us Mets fans have to look at over... and over... and over again, and take the proverbial long ride off the short pier in Flushing Meadows. Because, baby, the Mets ARE the edge. You ain't shit.

Famous Ollies....

2008-07-24T14:55:00.003-04:00

...hmm... let's see... there's Oliver Hardy, Kukla Fran & Ollie, Ollie North, Ollie Ollie Oxen Free (not a person of course)... and now, the final Ollie - our very own Oliver Perez, King Ollie, Ollie of The Shea, Ollie The Great.

Because you know what? That's how good, nay, GREAT, Oliver Perez has been for the Mets over the past two months. Whatever got into him, let's hope it stays, for he has become The Dominant Ollie, plowing through the minions of the National League with nary a sweat, hardly a walk, barely a scrape. And with twelve - COUNT 'EM - TWELVE strikeouts, and if that ain't The Dominant Ollie, well, then, I don't know what is.

And The Dominant Ollie cruised his way to a 3-1 victory over the Phillies this afternoon at Shea, with a little help from his friends. Friends like Carlos Delgado, who smacked a two-run double in the bottom of the eighth inning to put the Mets over the top. Friends like David Wright, starting the offense up.

The Dominant Ollie rears his head, and breathes fire into the bowels of Shea Stadium.

And in his path, the Phillies...

THE GOOD, THE BAD, THE JOSE JOSE JOSE JOSE!!!!

2008-07-24T09:24:00.004-04:00

THE GOOD!!!

THE METSIES WIN!!!

Excellent out by John Maine... 7 solid innings, and other than the couple of solo homeruns, never really got in too much trouble..

Easley with another very good game... 3 hits, key 2-out RBI to go with it...

Schoeneweis and Joe Smith gettin' the job done...

Wagner nailing it down dominantly in the 9th...

And, of course, Jose with the big knock last night!!!

THE BAD

More poor situational hitting... Leaving the bases loaded a few times...

Being nitpicky here, but wondering why Manuel chose to use Cancel to pinch hit late in the game, rather than Castro...

THE UGLY

Marlon Anderson looks lost, both in the field and at the plate... Hate to give up on a guy like Marlon who has been so useful to us in the past, but right now, he just ain't getting the job done... Much rather see Tatis or Evans out there...

Second Verse... Not The Same As The First....

2008-07-24T08:56:00.003-04:00

...and no Willies, and no Sams, and not even any Henrys; thank whomever you thank for that! Last night, the Mets evened the series against the Phillies, and I gotta tell ya, folks, this Mets/Phillies thingy looks for all the world to be a rapidly and earnestly developing rivalry. What, between the smack talk on both sides of the coin, the Billy Wagner Ex-Phillie factor, Mets fans, Phillie fans, talk radio, blogs, the Phillies pitching staff cutting the inside corner on the Mets a bit too often (or as Bob Uecker might say: "juuuuuust a tad inside!"), the teams being in the same division, the cities being about 90 miles from each other, you just have to wonder... what took so long? What took so long, of course, is the fact that the teams really haven't been good at the same time in, oh, forever. The Mets became so linked up with the Braves since division realignment (heretofore having been so linked up with the Cardinals), the Phillies were almost an afterthought; in fact, they WERE an afterthought, probably even to their own fans.

Which is why I have to laugh at the truly bad rep under which New York fans labor... most people who know anything about baseball, sports in general, or anything in general, know that Philadelphia fans are without a doubt the biggest booers, rowdies, get y'er drunk on, trashily behaving fans in probably all of sports in North America. I'm leaving out the rest of the world because, well, you know how some of those South American and European soccer matches can be.....

But anyway, about last night. John Maine managed to stretch his 100+ pitches into more than four or five innings, and although he still looked slightly askew and uncomfy out there, he pitched well enough to get the win, and hopefully he can build on his performance. The offense did enough, and Jose Reyes got his bat on and smacked a three-run homer late in the game, with the bullpen, including Billy Wags, closing the barn door, and for once, before the cows got out.

Speaking of Wags, do you now have a newfound appreciation for him? No? Well, me neither. It's not that easy to forget the many times he's imploded in big games. So he did the job last night; whoop-dee-do. That's what he gets paid for, after all.

Still in all, I do admit that I felt kind of, uh, relieved? to see him trotting out there for the ninth inning rather than Sanchez, Feliciano or Smith.... so go figure. My my my, fickle fans some of us are!

THE GOOD, THE BAD, THE FREAKIN' BULLPEN!!!

2008-07-23T09:47:00.006-04:00

THE GOOD

Terrific outing by Johan Santana... Went 8 strong innings, and was dominant through much of the night...

Ramon go boom!!!!

Delgado go boom!!!!

Endy went 3-4...

THE BAD

Can somebody please buy a new pair of glasses for Luis Aguayo, because that was about the worst job of coaching at 3rd base I've ever seen...

And being a Mets fan all these years, that's saying ALOT!!!

Endy with some AWFUL baserunning too... How he didn't get a triple on that shot to the gap is beyond me... And I know Burrell and Rollins played it well, but Endy should be able to score from first base on a double down the LF line...

THE BULLPEN

What more can I see here that hasn't already been said...

F*** Manuel for not letting Johan go out for the 9th...

F*** Sanchez for giving up 3 straight hits...

F*** Reyes for not taking a given out when he had the chance...

F*** Pedro Feliciano...

F**** SO TAGUCHI!!!

F*** JIMMY ROLLINS!!!

And sadly, the ONLY guy last night who actually did his job in the bullpen ends up taking the loss!!!

Oh, and F#$^$%(%^& Billy Wagner and his shoulder!!! He's earned a permanent spot in the BPP!!!

I'm done now!!! Have a nice day y'all!!!

Ladies And Gentlemen, That Loud, Horrifying Noise You Heard...

2008-07-23T08:51:00.003-04:00

...emanating late yesterday evening from Flushing Meadows, New York, was NOT, in fact, Hurricane Dolly having taken an unexpected turn; it was, in fact, the sound of the New York Mets' bullpen collapsing into itself with as hard a thud and as much thunder as the implosion of Shea Stadium, were there to be one.

That's right, folks; the Mets, going into the top of the ninth leading the Phillies by three runs, the score being 5 - 2, and without the availability of Billy Wagner due to off-and-on "shoulder spasms," blew the game courtesy of the bullpen, or more particularly, Duaner Sanchez, who just can't seem to get it right this year; Joe Smith, who really did his job, but Reyes didn't do his, and Pedro Feliciano, who just can't seem to get it right this year, either. Did I leave anyone out? And even if I did, what's the difference? The bullpen promptly coughed up six runs, and the Mets made a weak attempt to come back in the bottom of the ninth, scoring one run, but ultimately falling two runs short.

They were probably in SHOCK, much like the entire nation of Mets fans.

And again, a very good Santana start turns out like crap, and I'm thinking to myself, man, this phucking sucks.

This really hurts, this loss. We finally manage to pull ourselves out of the NL gutter and claim a share of first place, and again, we seem to be playing one up, one down baseball. After the All-Star break, the team, particularly the pitching, just looked dazed and confused, which seems to be continuing, without abatement. Monday, I asked - is the honeymoon with Jerry Manuel over? I don't know, but I see signs of the team going back to its .500 ways, and finding new and inventive and not-so-inventive ways to lose games.

It really galls me, too, to lose to the Phillies, especially when Jimmy Rollins has a big hand in handing us the loss.

Talk about demoralizing... I'm going to very curious to see what happens the rest of this series.

And I'm starting to think -- does somebody have it in for Santana? And as Joe Janish at Mets Today said, why couldn't Santana pitch the ninth inning, especially since Wagner was unavailable... the answers to these and other burning questions, I do not know, but what I do know is I'll be right back in front of the television tonight, hoping for a share of redemption....